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Lottie knocks and peeks her head into the room. “How’s the bride?”
I stare at the dress I bought online, hanging on the closet door in the bridal suite of The Knotted Barn. It’s a pretty dress, but I didn’t get to go to a bridal shop to find it. Nothing today is what I thought my wedding day would entail. Tears fill my eyes.
“Oh, Sadie.” Lottie comes into the room, shutting and locking the door. “Don’t cry.”
I blot my eyes since I already did my makeup. “I’m fine. It’s just…”
She sits beside me on the couch, and her hand falls to my knee. “I know. This isn’t your dream.”
I shake my head, afraid to talk in case more tears slip free. I was holding it all together until last night.
“You have to think about what could happen from this. It might end up being the best thing for the two of you.”
“I think I’m making a mistake.” I inhale a big breath and go to sit at the vanity to do my hair.
“Then call it off. I’ll go out there and tell everyone you don’t want to marry Jude.”
I stare at her reflection in the mirror. “Then you’d be a liar.”
She gives me that expression to say she’s sorry, which she doesn’t have to be. She’s not any part of this. “I know you want to save the farm, but is this worth it?”
She takes the curling iron from my hand and separates my hair to curl.
“It is. For my mom and the memory of my dad. I just needed to grieve what I’ll never get.”
“Sadie. You will.” Our eyes lock in the mirror. “You will get your dream wedding someday. Sadly, it might not be with Jude, but I’ll be damned if you don’t get it.”
“And how do you think I’ll meet this mystery man when I’m married to Jude?”
She smiles, and her head bobs right and left. “That’s a good question, but this marriage isn’t forever, right? The more successful the farm is, the sooner you’re out of it.”
Isn’t that the problem? I don’t want out of this marriage. I just wish it was real.
“We’ve never talked about how long we’ll stay married. Probably something we should have discussed.” I frown.
Lottie curls my hair into perfect ringlets, and my nerves calm a little. This is Jude I’m marrying. So what if I don’t have the big wedding I always dreamed of? I’m technically marrying the man of my dreams.
“You know what? Who cares? This is just a formality. It’s not the wedding day that matters. It’s the fact I’m marrying Jude. And maybe it’s not for love, but he’s doing me a big favor, and I appreciate it so much. I don’t have anything to complain about.”
She puts down the curling iron and places her hands on my shoulders. “Sadie, it’s okay to want more. You can tell me. I know it won’t change the fact that you’re going to walk down that aisle to Jude, but I’m here to talk about whatever you want. No judgment.”
She picks up the curling iron again, and I concentrate on her sliding a chunk of my hair into the curling iron and twisting it around.
“What I want isn’t available to me. Maybe something will come from this.” Not that I’m allowing my mind to go there, because I’d be setting myself up for disappointment.
“I’m sure if you strut around his house naked, it’ll do the trick. Men are easy creatures.” She puts down the curling iron and grabs the hair spray.
“Are you speaking from experience?” When she gives me a confused look, I say, “Brooks?”
She rolls her eyes and sprays my hair. “We’re not talking about me today.”
Lottie says she hates Brooks, and maybe she does, but I wouldn’t make coffee before my store opens for a man I hate. Maybe she likes the attention he gives her. She’s always so closed off when I try to talk about him.
“You are aware that his gaze is always on you,” I say. “I mean, he took a baseball to his junk this summer because you distracted him with your amazing ass.”
She shakes her head. “Brooks only wants what he can’t have.”
“I’m not sure?—”
