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The telepathic ping he’d sent to Kaien last night had also gone unanswered. Above all things, Remmus never wanted to be a burden. He’d given up for now.
He glanced at his forearm once more. Though he had inked the tattoo initially to cover any potential transfiguration slights, he’d grown used to the look. He had to redo it every year or so to keep up with his heightened metabolism and his body’s base rejection of the ink.
The scene depicted a memory he’d never forget.
A lance of pain sharpened behind his left temple, and he pressed a palm against it. Perhaps the broken bone from Aidan’s assault had yet to fully heal. Removing the transfiguration he regularly kept to conceal the truth, he stared blankly at the broken line of scars on his skin.
They were pieces of a past he loathed. Slivers of his mother’s attempt to make him into something he wasn’t. The wicked woman had broken him before he’d turned five. He’d begun developing resistance to his mother’s dark gift as he grew into a teen, but he was intimately familiar with its cool, icy clutches.
Bile rose in his throat, but he forced back his body’s visceral response to the memory. At least he’d had the presence of mind to hide the small line of scars from Ava after the snowball fight. In the excitement, he’d temporarily given up the transfiguration on his palm in lieu of maintaining his teleportation.
Something was dragging on his psychic resources, and the concession had been a necessity. The silver—or the coercion—was affecting him more than he thought.
After a shower which rinsed off the last traces of blood, Remmus sought out Ava. He found her in the Great Hall, seated along one wall, and was immediately drawn to her. She was irresistible, like a sun that he revolved around, the gravity that kept him in orbit. Without her, he’d tumble into nothingness.
The moment he sat down beside her, she bumped her shoulder against his. “I’m sorry about yesterday. I reacted poorly.”
“You didn’t. I blindsided you with something I thought you already knew, and it took a run to clear your head.” He smirked. “At least you came back.”
“Aidan would’ve frowned upon a complete abandonment.” Her fingers skated down the tattoo along his left forearm, her thumb tracing the waterfall. “What is it like to have two sovereigns?”
He captured her wandering fingers and pressed them to his lips. “Honestly? It’s strange. My entire life I’ve only ever known Nina, and she’s the only one I’ve trusted enough to let in. To have two, and to be connected with Zeke of all people, is a development few of us were expecting. We’d always thought they’d go on hating each other forever.”
Remmus shook his head, lost in his own thoughts. “After they mated, they made us do these group trainings with the other lieutenants. Zeke had his own seconds, after all, five of them, and none of us really knew each other. I think they took sick pleasure in pitting us against one another to hone our skills.
“But during this one group training,” he continued, “Zeke and Nina decided to spar: two sovereigns going full tilt against one another. We, of course, started taking bets on who’d win between them, and it got heated. Real tooth and nail, all out. And then, just when we started to see some real grit, they ended up making out right there on the mats. Both of them won. We all lost.”
Ava burst out laughing. “That’s rich.”
“I lost a hundred bucks on that bet,” he retorted, mockingly morose. “The only one who’d bet they wouldn’t finish was Zeke’s cousin Tzuriel, and he cashed out.”
Fondly remembering the day, a warm feeling bloomed within his core. When Ava’s fingers turned his jaw toward hers, the soft smile that graced her features nearly made his heart stop.
“What?”
“It’s just nice to see you, not the playboy grin you always wear. I like it.”
Red colored his cheeks, but his debonair air was still firmly in place. “You like me, huh?”
“Maybe a little.” Lifting her shoulder coyly, Ava snickered. “But don’t push your luck.”
“Noted.”
He leaned back against the bench. Wolves were running around, playing some sort of ball game in their four-legged forms. Though some had beckoned Ava to lead their team, she’d elected to observe instead of participating.
Remmus looked down to where Ava’s fingers had threaded through his own. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had physical contact that hadn’t involved a punch to the face or a kick to the gut.
The urge to punish himself for this small slice of happiness spiked behind his temples. With every step forward their relationship took, his coercion escalated in sync. He didn’t want to think about what would happen if he finalized the mate bond.
Had his parents still been alive, they’d have skinned him alive for even hoping to be happy or to trust someone else enough that he’d be capable of getting hurt. Thank the fates they’d been dust for centuries.
Resisting the urge to shudder, he glanced at Ava. “I have something for you.”
“Do you?” Perking, excitement danced behind her eyes. “Is it something edible, perhaps? Or something fun? Don’t keep me waiting, Raeth.”
“And if I do keep you waiting? I quite enjoy this level of enthusiasm from you.”
“Oh, well then—” she shot him her best glare, “—pushed off a cliff into shark infested waters.”
