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Ava reared back from him as though she’d been burned. Shock, fear, anxiety; explosive emotions pinged through her as she weathered the brunt of her own response. Her volatile emotions funneled toward him like a typhoon, likely drowning him in everything she was feeling. She’d sensed wonder from him initially, but in the wake of her outburst, his childlike hope had swiftly given way to hurt.
“Forgive me, Ava.” Remmus’ face pinched, immediately dropping eye contact to look away. “I know you don’t want this—I know you don’t want me. I hadn’t realized—”
His voice cracked, and the pain coming from him intensified, with a strong undercurrent of regret and failure. Dragging a breath into her lungs, she tried desperately to fight through the shock that’d locked her vocal cords. Not quickly enough.
The bloodied man slid off the stool, shoulders slumped, and murmured yet another apology. Broken, both in body and soul, he trudged away from her toward the door. The only outward sign of tension she saw were his tightly fisted hands, knuckles bleaching white.
“Remmus, stop.”
To her great surprise, he did. But he didn’t pivot to face her or offer another apology. Everything about his posture was rigid and tight, vibrating with defeat.
“Remmus, it’s—it’s not that I don’t want you.” Ava struggled through the words, not trusting her voice. “I just wasn’t expecting … this.”
Where she’d felt an overwhelming hurt before, now was an empty vat of nothing.
“I should leave.”
Pain lanced through her at the thought of being without him. In the few days they’d spent together, he’d quickly gone from a frustrating presence to a comfort, someone who created a feeling of rightness in her. Despite the plethora of reasons to shy away, there were just as many reasons to explore what’d just happened between them.
“No. You should stay,” she said. “Please, Remmus. I think we should give this a chance.”
His seafoam green eyes became stormy. “You hate Raeths, Ava; I know this. Why should we try something we both know will destroy us in the end?”
“Do you intend to hurt me?”
Something akin to shock washed through their bond. “Never.”
She took a breath to steady herself as her pulse raced. The sudden influx of emotion had thrown her off-center, and the possibilities that spanned before them were vast. It was still unsettling to think of the bridge between their souls, but in this, Ava wanted to be brave.
She wanted to try opening up to him and allow herself to explore what could be. She deserved a chance to be happy—as did Remmus.
Ava gently squeezed his wrist. “Then let’s see how this plays out. We owe it to ourselves. We’re old enough to know that a mating bond isn’t to be dismissed.”
“Ava,” her name was said like a prayer, “I’m not a good man. I have … issues. I come with baggage that you shouldn’t have to carry.”
The broken spirit that shadowed his gaze killed her. “Stop it. Stop trying to warn me off. It won’t work. Besides, I’m stronger than I look. I can take a bit of baggage; I’ll add it to my own.
“Now come on, you overgrown baby.” Ava tugged on his still-fisted hand. “You’re still a bloody mess, and I can’t show you off to the other she-wolves looking like your face met a blender.”
“Show me off, huh?”
When she looked back, Remmus had regained some semblance of the charismatic male she’d come to know. And though she knew it was a piece of his façade once more falling into place, the gentle smile that hooked his lips wasn’t a lie.
Seven minutes later, once Ava was done treating the healing patches of skin on Remmus’ face, he excused himself and went back to his quarters.
The sun was already peeking over the horizon when Ava shifted for her perimeter patrol. Her mind, tangled with thoughts of the new bond that connected her to Remmus, was settled by the soothing simplicity of the wolf. Paws connected with icy ground as she sprinted around the inner perimeter of the den, her mind racing as fast as her feet carried her.
At some point, she’d need to speak with her alpha regarding that development. Aidan, too. But that could wait, at least until she figured out what she herself wanted.
Remmus had broken down her barriers faster than she’d ever anticipated. Riaz had initially been open to letting Remmus come and go in an effort to break Ava free of the blinding fear she typically had when she was in a Raeth’s presence. Now, it was part of Aidan’s plan to solidify their packs.
On one hand, she appreciated the thought. On the other, how dare her alphas push her?
They both knew of the blood-soaked ground where she’d been christened, and the betrayal of the boy she’d once called friend. Ever since she’d been rescued by Aidan, she’d cloaked herself in den life and solitude. The pair of alphas had conspired to tear away that cloak and had purposely given the keys to the den away. As she ran, Ava grappled with the fact that her mate was a member of the breed that’d nearly killed her when she was an adolescent.
“Watch, son, see how blood spills until life is drained. See how humans meet their end by our hands.”
Shuddering, her paws continued to connect with snow-covered ground, tearing through the perimeter check in record time. When she was nearly back to the den, Aidan’s massive black wolf joined her, the male dwarfing her. With a playful snap of his teeth, Aidan challenged her to a speed duel, already knowing he’d win. That didn’t mean that she’d back down.
