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“I’d agree with that math, Stafford,” Emily says, “but I’ve been told I apply math theories creatively. You know like when does one plus one equal one? When it’s you plus me.” She winks at Montgomery who actually laughs in response. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard him laugh before.
Lucy laughs too, then inches up to her tiptoes to give Stafford a soft kiss. The sight is so sweet it makes my heart ache.
It still makes me feel weird to see a man I thought would be single until the end of time as part of a happily married couple.
Weird, but not at all jealous.
Nope. I am not jealous of their love. After all, I’m a happily married woman now too.
Or at least a married woman anyway.
“Reunions and math lessons aside,” Anderson speaks again, “I really think you owe us more of an explanation, Reynolds. All of us called you last night after the body was found. In fact we called you multiple times.”
“You did?” Jack looks blankly at them. “Sorry, I had no idea. I lost my phone.”
“You lost your phone?” Anderson sounds skeptical. This is understandable. Jack is not one to lose things. Another hole in our story. A hole that will triple in size if Mel decides to put her Find My app to good use again.
“I can find it for you,” Mel offers, whipping out her phone. Panic builds in my chest, but again Jack appears unperturbed.
“That would be great, Mel,” he says smoothly. “I’m guessing it’s dead by now, but it’s worth a try.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Mel replies breezily as she opens her phone and starts tapping the screen. “The app will show me its last live location.”
Okay, now Jack looks like he’s ready to come to my panic party, his hand twitches in the direction of his pocket and instinctively I know that’s where his phone is. Did he turn it off here or at home? I’m guessing here based on his expression.
So I do the only thing I can think of and shout, “Ahh! Spider!” Then I reach over and slap the phone out of Mel’s hands. It goes flying down to the ground and before anyone else can reach down to get it I bend down myself, making a show of grabbing it before I purposely let my butter fingers lose their grip and send it shooting forward and under the judge’s desk.
“Oh shoot!” I cry as I straighten back up. “Oh, Mel, I’m sorry. There was a spider on your hand. It’s gone now, but I just reacted instinctively when I saw it.”
Mel barely seems to hear me; she’s too busy wiggling her body in a dance I’m quite familiar with. It’s called the Oh My Gosh, Is There A Spider On Me Shimmy.
“It’s gone now,” I repeat, but she’s in the dancing zone and still doesn’t hear me.
“Mel,” Anderson comes up behind her, grabbing her gently by the shoulders, “the spider is gone.”
Mel finally stops dancing, her cheeks flushed from all the movement. She lets out one final shudder.
“Gah, I hate spiders,” she moans. “Thank you, Nora, for getting that one off me.” She looks around. “Where did my phone go?”
“Nora dropped it under the desk,” Montgomery supplies.
“Don’t worry, I’ll get it,” Anderson tells her since it’s clear she’s not thrilled with the idea of sticking her hand under the desk. Can’t say I blame her. She may not have actually had a spider on her when I hit her phone out of her hand, but she very well might end up with one on her if she puts her hand under that desk.
Anderson bends down to retrieve her phone, and I say loudly, “Maybe we should take this pow-wow outside. I’m sure the judge would like his office back.”
Judge Karplin, who’s been sitting at his desk, taking everything in, grunts. “As much as I’d like to see how this soap opera plays out, I do have work to do.”
“Well then we will get out of your hair,” Jack declares. “Thank you again for marrying us.” He doesn’t wait for a reply, just strides the heck out of there. I follow him, my heart racing. “Just need to get to my car,” he tells me under his breath. “Easy enough to believe my phone could’ve been lost in there.”
“I got this,” I tell him, even though I don’t actually have any idea how to stall Mel further. She’s far too efficient a person for this kind of scenario. I once saw her unwrap a package of gluten free Oreos while she simultaneously moved an armchair back to its rightful place in her dorm’s great room AND helped a resident in crisis pick her major. She’s a force of nature and I’m not sure I have an emergency response in place to counter her effects.
“What’s his rush?” I hear Stafford say behind us.
“Did you find his phone yet?” Lucy asks Mel.
In a panic I swivel around and make a beeline for Mel. She’s got her face in her phone as she trails along with the group.
“Thank you for coming to find me when you thought I was missing, Mel,” I cry, enveloping her in a hug and smushing the phone between us. It presses into my rib cage and I send up a silent prayer that my ribs are as effective at pressing random buttons as my butt has proven itself to be over the years. Looking for a rib dial here, folks. “You’re such a good friend,” I carry on, squeezing her more tightly.
