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Thanks to some great teachers, friends, and my grandparents' continued pursuit of me, I realized that wanting my mother’s love was the root of my destructive behavior. But what I had to recognize was that I already had the unconditional love of my grandparents, my friends, God, and eventually Jack.
Of course, I messed that last one up royally.
Apparently I never fully addressed the trauma inflicted on me by my mother’s actions.
Who knew?
“Okay, well, I’ll sign next,” Emily says, stepping forward to take the pen from me. I watch with bated breath as she moves the pen along the paper. She straightens, and I exhale. One down, one to go.
Lucy makes her way to the table, accepting the pen from Emily with a smile aimed my way. It’s weird watching her put the pen to the paper all the while knowing that this is the last step before Jack and I are well and truly married.
There’s a flutter in my chest that I can’t quite decipher the meaning of—is it relief? Apprehension? Or possibly even excitement?
No, surely not this last one. There’s no way I’m excited to be married to Jack Reynolds.
I have trauma, people. Trauma that has greatly soured my views on marriage. Well, not marriage itself. My grandparents have an amazing marriage. Lots of people do. It’s more about my views on marriage for me personally…as in, I don’t know when or if I’ll ever be ready for it.
Or at least that’s how I felt prior to committing murder.
That event sort of changed the game. Marriage became a necessary thing rather than an elective activity.
Basically it’s all very confusing, so I just don’t know quite what to think or feel as Lucy scrawls her signature on the paper.
“Jack Reynolds!” A voice cries from the doorway just as she finishes her signature with a little flourish. All six of us, the judge included, turn to the doorway to see Noah Anderson, Nate Stafford, and Reed Montgomery standing there gazes fixed on Jack—all three of them looking more than a little bit angry.
Immediately I feel a shock of remorse and guilt that I’m the cause of the anger aimed Jack’s way by his three best friends, but when I look over at him, Jack appears unperturbed. In fact he is the picture of composed as he stares back at them. His hands are in his pockets, his shoulders are loose, and his face has a pleasant expression as if he’s happy to see this trio of angry men.
Again I’m struck by how much better Jack is at this whole lying charade.
It makes all of those moments where I wondered if there was still something between us seem like that much more of an illusion.
“Man am I glad to see you three!” Jack exclaims. “What’s this about a dead body on my wife’s front lawn?” He slides a hand from his pocket to wave it around. “Or should I say her former front lawn since she’s going to be moving in with me now that we’ve tied the knot.”
“Hold on.” Anderson puts both his hands up like a crossing guard telling traffic to stop. “You two got married?”
“Yup. Five minutes ago,” Mel answers for us. I don’t miss the faux lightness to her tone. How am I ever going to make this up to her? I guarantee Hallmark doesn’t have a card for this type of situation. An “I’m sorry I didn’t invite you to my courthouse wedding, it was just because I didn’t want you to delay the ceremony by talking about the dead body someone found on my front lawn” card probably wouldn’t be a big seller.
I suppose there’s always a box of chocolate. Or a jar of pickles. Mel loves pickles.
The three men exchange looks. “I don’t get it,” Montgomery says. “When did you two even get back together?”
This time Emily answers for us. “It only happened last night, babe. They were just trying to be romantic eloping like this.”
“Last night?” Anderson doesn’t like this answer. He shoots me a dubious look as he adds, “You mean the same night we found a dead body on Nora’s front lawn?”
“What are you getting at?” Jack replies, his voice tight. Anderson’s gaze snaps back over to him. Gone is the relaxed posture he had when his friends walked in. Now he’s giving off angry-bull-preparing-to-charge-for-the-matador vibes. Anderson steps back, putting his metaphorical red flag to the side.
“Hey, man, calm down. I’m not getting at anything.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “Just trying to understand the situation.”
The silence in the room is so charged it could power an entire city.
“So you two kids got married, did ya now?” Stafford breaks the silence with his usual dose of easy charm, stepping forward to clap Jack on the back then offering me a hand to shake. “Nora, good to see you.”
Tentatively I reach out and take his hand. Stafford has traditionally always been the most laid back and easygoing of the group. If we can’t win him over with our sudden marriage, we have zero hope with the rest of them. Meaning there’s a lot riding on this handshake.
“Good to see you too, Stafford. I’ve enjoyed meeting your better half today.”
This was definitely the right thing to say. His whole face erupts in a smile and he forgets all about me as he heads over to Lucy. “My better half indeed,” he says, then rests a hand on her stomach. “Although, with this little guy or girl in here, does that make the pair of them my better two-thirds?”
