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“Xander!” I cried when I walked into the kitchen and found him stood at the counter. I hadn’t seen him since we got back and I’d missed him so much. He was always my closest ally when it came to fights with my brothers – always the most level headed and likely to see things from my side. I ran right over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, hugging him hard as I fought not to cry again.
“Hey, half pint,” he greeted as he hugged me too. “I missed you. How are you doing?” he asked as he slid a finger under my chin and lifted my face until our eyes met. He frowned when he looked me over.
“I’m okay, just tired,” I shrugged.
“You’re pale and shaky. Have you been eating?” he asked.
“Not enough,” Harris cut in.
“I eat when I’m hungry. I just had a sandwich!” I cried defensively.
“You need to eat and sleep more. I’d like to take some bloods too. I think you might be anemic.”
“Xand, please just be my brother and not my doctor right now,” I sighed. “I’m fine.”
“Was everything okay last night? The place you stayed secure?” Matt asked, and I looked across to where he sat at the counter. Cole was beside him, and leant against the wall, off to the side stood Kyle, a scowl on his face. Kade and Livy were in the kitchen with Xander, all of them in the middle of cooking something by the looks of things.
“It’s on the thirtieth floor of an office building downtown, with a full security team. It’s safe,” Kailan snapped. It was so unlike him to be so short, but I got why. My brothers were doubting his ability – all of their ability to keep me safe and it was obviously pissing my guys off.
“We’re fine, guys,” I told them. “Stop worrying. Harris, Kailan, Nick, and Aleks are trained for this kind of situation and much worse. They can and will keep me safe.”
“Damned right we will,” Nick agreed as he came closer and wrapped an arm around me.
“Our place is secure, but yours may not be. That’s why we’re here,” Aleks spoke up. “I think you have a bug or a mic in here. Maybe multiple. I want to sweep the place.”
“No, we checked the place when you first called us,” Kade denied.
“Yeah, before Soloman was on your property leaving bodies. He could easily have gotten inside here too, amidst the chaos to plant equipment,” Harris pointed out, and I watched as my brothers looked to each other with worry.
“Yeah, you’re right,” Kade agreed. “You have what we need?” He looked to Aleks who nodded and patted the bag he had over his shoulder, filled with equipment Asher’s security team had leant to him, to look for bugs. “Let’s go then.”
Aleks followed Kade from the room, Cole right behind them. Matt went to the kitchen to help Livy and Xander.
“What are you making?” I asked as I looked to Livy.
“Matt’s spicy chicken casserole. I thought you guys might want to stay for dinner?” she offered warily. “Kyle will behave. We’ve had words, very loud angry words,” she added with a glare to the man himself.
“Kyle is standing right here,” he threw back as he stepped forward and came closer to me. Harris, who seemed to be keeping a close eye on Kyle, was instantly at my side again. “Can we talk, Evie? Please?”
“That depends on the tone this talk will take,” I replied as I glared at him. “I can’t tell you what you want to know Kyle, because I can’t even think about that hell, and I….I can’t forgive you for watching that damned disc. You really hurt me.”
“I know. I get that now. It was a really fucking stupid thing to do and I am so sorry. I just…I feel so much guilt for everything you’ve been through. I’m your brother. I should never have allowed that to happen. I just thought if I knew more…knew what you went through…I don’t know. I just felt like I needed to know,” he huffed as he flopped down into a seat at the counter looking exhausted and filled with guilt.
“It wasn’t your fault, Kyle,” I started as I took a seat beside him. “It was no one’s fault except the psycho who grabbed me. I couldn’t stop him and neither could you. No one could. You have to let that guilt go, because it’s ridiculous and it’s making you someone none of us even recognize. Mom was right last night – you actually scared me. I have never once in my whole life felt anything but safe when you were near, but last night…all of that anger, it scared me, Kyle. That’s not you.”
“I’m so fucking sorry, little bit. I never want you to be scared of me,” he said as he sat up and put his hand over mine. “I love you so much. When we thought we’d lost you, it killed me, Evie. It happened all over again. I failed you all over again, just like I failed Riley.” There were tears in his eyes and every word implored me to understand. And I did. Riley was Kyle’s little sister by blood. When he was around twelve or thirteen, their no good father handed Riley off as payment for some deal gone wrong. By the time Kyle got to her, she was dead. She’d been shoved in a cupboard and suffocated to death. He had never forgiven himself for that, and I understood how me disappearing must have taken him right back there again. That didn’t excuse what he’d done, but I did get how messed up he was feeling. He was wracked with so much misplaced guilt.
“You didn’t fail Riley and you didn’t fail me either. What happened to Riley was beyond your control and you know that deep down, just like what happened to me was too. But Kyle…I’m here, right here,” I told him as I turned my hand under his and interlocked our fingers. “I got away. I survived. Now you have a choice. You either put the guilt to bed and help me get the bastard who hurt me, or you carry on as you’ve been and keep pushing me away.”
“I don’t want to push you away, Evie,” he told me. “And I really want to catch the sonofabitch who hurt you.”
“Then let’s do that. Can we just put this behind us and move forward, please? I miss my brother,” I pleaded.
“I’m sorry,” he said as he sat forwards and wrapped me tightly in his arms. “I’ll try to stop fucking up. Promise.”
“Just please try to stop being a dick to the guys I love. I’ll settle for that right now. They’re good men, Kyle.”
“Good men who keep putting their hands on my baby sister,” he growled, but it had a teasing tone to it.
