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“No, Evie. We’re all here, safe with you, see?” he pulled back from holding me enough for me to see Harris, Nick, and Aleks standing in my room at the foot of the bed, watching me with so much worry.
“Nothing is going to happen to any of us, Ev. I promise you. Kailan’s right for once, everything’s okay,” Harris assured me.
“See? We’re all good. It was just a nightmare.” Kailan pulled me back into his arms and for several minutes I cried against his bare chest, terrified by how real the whole thing had felt, and so relieved none of it had been real.
“Fuck!” I panted as I managed to gather myself a little. Another fucking nightmare. I took a deep breath and looked up at Kailan, who still held me and seemed reluctant to let me go. “Sorry. D-did I hurt you?”
“Nah. I’m fine,” he replied. “Can you try and slow down your breathing for me, before you hyperventilate?” he asked with a teasing edge.
I nodded and lay my head back on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart and relishing the heat of him against me as I tried to just calm myself back down.
“Can I get you anything, malenka?” Aleks asked softly after several minutes.
“Thanks,” I looked up and gave him a grateful smile. “I’m okay now. You should all head back to bed and get some sleep. I…I think I’ll get up and make some tea.”
“We can make you tea. You need to sleep too,” Aleks told me.
“I will, but not yet. I…I just need a breather after that. It was a bad one,” I admitted.
“You guys go back to sleep. I’ll stay with Evie. I was sleeping in here anyway. I just went to pee and she started screaming,” Kailan explained.
As the fuzz of the nightmare cleared I remembered him volunteering to stay the night with me. We’d snuggled up and Kailan had held me tight as I drifted off to sleep. The nightmares must have found their way in when he left to use the bathroom, I realized.
“You good with that, sweetheart?” Harris asked. “We can all stay if that’s what you want?”
I was so close to nodding my head and having them all stay close at my side where I could continuously reassure myself they were there and safe, but they looked exhausted. I’d also been pretty needy since I arrived there with them and I knew I needed to get a handle on that. So instead I smiled and nodded.
“You guys get back to bed. I’m fine now,” I lied.
“Just let Kailan know if you change your mind. We want to be here with you if that’s what you need, baby, okay? No hiding, remember?” Nick added.
“I’m good,” I assured him. He nodded and headed for the door, Harris and Aleks following behind him. Trying not to be too needy was hardly hiding from them, right?
***
A short while later Kailan and I sat at the counter in the kitchen, sipping hot chocolate he had insisted we needed much more than ‘boring tea’. I had to admit, it was good, and I felt much calmer with the warm cup cradled between my hands.
“What’s on your mind?” Kailan asked. I turned and looked up at him, our height difference very evident even when we were sitting.
“My mom used to make me hot chocolate when I was a kid. Sometimes when Livy had nightmares, she’d scream, just like I did before, and if I woke up upset, or scared my mom would scoop me up, carry me downstairs and make us both hot chocolate,” I recalled.
“Livy’s the one married to four of your brothers, right?”
“Yeah. She was like a sister to me…still is. She went through hell and she was in a bad way when she came to live with us. There were a lot of nightmares, but my brothers were always with her. They knew she was theirs pretty damned fast.”
“Maybe that’s just what happens when things are meant to be,” Kailan shrugged.
“Maybe,” I agreed. I was certainly falling way too fast for the four of them, but there seemed to be no stopping it. I just felt like they were all meant for me, and I wanted to be everything they needed in return.
“I mean it, Evie,” Kailan continued. I looked up into his dark eyes, and they were focused wholly on me. “I know things are messed up right now, and I get it if you need time, but I know you’re it for me…for all of us. We’re not ever going to let you go without one hell of a fight. You’re ours, perfect for us. I know we’re all far from perfect for you, but we will never stop trying to give you each and every single thing you need.”
The intensity in his gaze was completely locked on mine and it awakened something inside. He wanted me and I, for damn sure, wanted him.
“You’re all perfect for me,” I whispered. “The four of you is all I’ll ever truly need.”
He leaned in and I did too. Our lips met and the kiss was intense and frenzied right away. We both wanted this – needed it. Kailan’s hand tangled in my hair, dragging me even closer into him as he deepened the kiss even further. His other hand slipped under my thighs and lifted me until I was in his arms, my legs wrapped around his waist as I clung to him and allowed him to take complete control. I snaked my arms around his shoulders, and tried to get even closer to him, the whole time my body humming with the need for more.
He moved the kisses down to my neck, nipping with his teeth and then soothing with more caresses of his lips. My hands moved to his back, running up and down over every ridge and plain of his hard muscle. I was moving in his lap, my core searching for the friction it needed. Kailan had set me alight and there was no dousing the fire within. I needed more.
