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“He’s still got pink hair, so…good, I guess.” I shrugged. I really didn’t want to talk about Sawyer. Literally any other topic would be better.
“The boob can’t even Google how to get temporary dye out?” Kelsey chuckled, licking some ketchup off her fingers. I’d long since finished my nuggets. I didn’t play around when it came to those babies.
“The boob probably doesn’t know the difference between temporary and permanent dye,” I muttered. “But I don’t want to talk about him. I know what you’re trying to do, and it isn’t going to work.”
“What?” She blinked. “Using my charm to deflect the situation and turn it around on you? That’s not working?”
“Not at all.” I saw through Kelsey’s bullshit, but she, unfortunately, wasn’t able to see through mine. I didn’t blame her for it, though. I’d hidden Ray from her for years. I hid him from everyone. She wasn’t as bad of a liar as I was—and by that, I meant she wasn’t as good at it. Not something to be proud of, but we all had our talents. “Tell me what’s going on. You always ask how Hillcrest is going, but you never tell me how it’s going for you.”
Kelsey had elected to stay close to home, though her college was still an hour or so away from our hometown. A local, community college, one that was world’s cheaper than HU. A college that would still cause my friend to drown in debt. The wonders of America truly were great, huh?
When she still said nothing, I asked, “Having trouble with your classes?”
Kelsey pursed her lips. “No.”
“Your roommate?”
“No, she’s fine.”
“Then what is it?” I tilted my head, letting my blonde and pink hair fall in my face. “Don’t tell me you’re having boy troubles. You never have boy troubles—you’re always the one giving the boys trouble.” Seriously, it’s what Kelsey was good at. Guys flocked to her like she was a lone French fry and they were a horde of hungry seagulls. She’d grown used to it and used their attention to her advantage. And I…
Well, I got the runoff, which didn’t bother me, not until I got Ray. And even then, I never really had Ray. You can’t have a serial killer, can you?
Kelsey scoffed. “Boy troubles. You sound like my mom. But…yeah. I’m having boy troubles. One boy, specifically.” Now finished with her burger, she set an elbow on the table, resting her chin on top of her fist. The McDonald’s around us was mostly empty. Since it was Friday night, most of the people our age were out partying. The world had grown dark outside, a reminder of the harsh reality waiting for me.
Even when Kelsey left, even after I was alone here again, I’d never truly be alone. Ray would always be there, watching, sitting in the back of my mind like the stalker he was. He knew Kelsey was my friend, and I hoped he would steer clear, knowing that if he tried something, attempted to hurt her, I’d never forgive him.
If he wanted to punish me, let him punish me. Me, not anyone else.
“Although I think anyone would argue he’s more of a man…” Kelsey bit her lower lip, looking quite coy. The expression didn’t work for me, because Kelsey was the least coy person I’d ever met. She was the one going out of her way to talk to guys at parties. She was the one who knew how to laugh and flirt and do all that shit. Me? I was the tagalong. The one hanging out beside her during those parties.
“Okay,” I corrected myself, “so you’re having man troubles.” Hah, kind of sounded like what I was going through, except until recently all of my troubles involved multiple guys. Now? Most of them stemmed from one man.
If I could go back in time and change one thing, it’d be what I did in that basement. What I didn’t do, actually.
I was weak then, and my actions in the past week had only reaffirmed the fact that I still wasn’t as strong as I wished I was. It was easy to play pretend, but when the chips were down and it counted…
“I like a guy, I think, but he’s kind of a dick,” Kelsey went on. “He’s so sexy, though. Like damn, the sexiest man I’ve ever laid eyes on. So hot you could lick chocolate off him and not worry about how disgusting and unsanitary it is.” She heaved a sigh, and I watched my friend shove her hands into her hoodie’s pocket.
“You think you like him?”
“Yeah, either that, or I hate him. At this point, I don’t know which one.”
I wanted to laugh, because that sounded so much like my situation with the guys, especially Sawyer, but I didn’t. “So you needed some time away.”
“And I needed to visit an old friend.” Kelsey gave me a smile. “I really do miss you. It’s not the same without you. Things have definitely changed since high school.” She quieted for a few minutes, and for a while neither of us said anything. “How is it going with you? I don’t mean the thing with those guys, but…everything else?”
If she heard the news about Ray getting off, if this was her way of edging toward the subject, she’d be disappointed. If I wasn’t going to talk about Ray to the guys, I definitely wasn’t going to bring it up to her.
“Everything’s fine,” I lied.
“Great, then we can go out and party like the old days,” Kelsey grinned, though I could tell her grin was halfhearted, at best. The girl across from me might’ve looked like Kelsey, but she wasn’t quite acting like she should. Whatever was going on at her school, I knew it was worse than she let on. She didn’t want me to know the truth, which I suppose I understood, because I was in the same boat.
We cleaned up and headed to the rust bucket. Old Faithful, able to make the trek out here. I hoped it would be able to get Kelsey back to her dorm, too.
As we got in, I said, “So you’re here to get your mind off your guy and chase some ass?” Somehow, when it came to Kelsey, that didn’t surprise me. I buckled my seatbelt, even though if we ever got into a crash in this baby, I was pretty sure we’d both die immediately. The airbags probably didn’t even work anymore.
“Hell yeah,” Kelsey said. “Look in the back. I even brought our costumes. Since we’re both poor and all, I told my mom to bring stuff home from work, and she delivered.”
