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He rolled onto his side, facing me. “Ash, I—”
Fuck. Here it was. The end of his declaration, the I love you part, the part where he claimed me for his own like I was a trophy to be had. This, what we did—it felt nice, but that didn’t mean I was with him. It didn’t mean I chose him, and sure as shit didn’t mean that Ray wasn’t still out there on the prowl.
Just as I was about to cut in and tell him don’t, my phone went off. I, for one, could not have been more thankful. Kelsey calling, of course. I answered it, ignoring the miffed look he wore, “Hey, girl. What’s up? Don’t tell me the rust bucket broke down. You know I don’t have a car to come get you.”
Kelsey laughed. “No, no. She’s still trucking. I wanted to see if you want me to pick up some dinner on the way, or if you wanted to go out. Tomorrow night is reserved for parties.” Parties, of course.
I threw a look over my shoulder at Declan. “We can go out,” I said. “Text me when you’re here and I’ll come down to the turnaround.” Talking to my best friend right after having two orgasms and making my roommate cum like a porn star? A bit weird, but she didn’t need to know that…she also didn’t need to know I was talking to her with no pants or panties on, either.
There were some lines you didn’t cross with your best friends.
I hung up and tossed a sheepish look at Declan. He was in the process of pulling up his pants, but he met my stare with his own. His cheeks were flushed after what we did, and he heaved a sigh as he zipped and buttoned his jeans. He was remarkably noble in the way that he refused to drop his gaze lower than my chin. No peeks of my naked ass, even though it was out in the open for any and all to see right now.
“Fine,” he said. “I’m visiting Will, anyway. But don’t go anywhere without her—”
“Oh, don’t you know? When we go out to eat, we sit at separate tables and shout at each other across the restaurant,” I spoke dryly. I got my clothes on, hyper-aware of the fact that Declan and I had just crossed one of the boundaries I’d sworn we’d never cross.
Friends didn’t do that with each other. Friends didn’t give head and hump each other like sex-crazed rabbits. Friends didn’t enjoy seeing each other naked. Oh, yeah. We’d definitely crossed the line of no return now, no denying that. We were each guilty of the crime, neither of us innocent. Just two hormonal college students whose lives were falling apart. Him and his brother, and me and Ray.
We were awkwardly quiet until Declan got a call from his dad, and then after Declan left, I was awkwardly quiet alone. I didn’t know what the hell I’d do by myself as I waited for Kelsey, but I knew I had to get my mind off Declan and what we did.
That was…
A mistake, had to be. Me and mistakes were comrades in arms, best buddies. I went with mistakes like ketchup went with chicken nuggets—and ketchup definitely went with chicken nuggets. I wasn’t one of those savages who could eat my chicken with barbeque sauce. Ick. No thanks, no way, no how. I put ketchup on nearly every meat, actually.
Hmm. Maybe Kelsey and I could make a trip to McDonald’s. It wasn’t too far, and I’d get my chicken nugget fix.
If anything could make this week better, it was chicken nuggets.
Chapter Nineteen – Ash
Kelsey looked…much the same as she did a few months ago when I saw her last. She’d lost most of her summer tan, granted, but beyond that, she looked the same. No freshman fifteen or anything like that. No new, fancy haircut or hair color; it was still the same old brown that looked like it could be black, depending on the lighting. She wore a hoodie, looking quite comfortable as she plowed into her hamburger.
After I thought of McDonald’s, I knew that’s where we had to eat. Kelsey said she’d pay, since I’d be buying all our other meals with my meal card this weekend, and I let her do it, mostly because I didn’t have the money. I’d look into getting a part-time job around here, but my life had been a little busy as it was.
Her hair was pulled back in a messy bun, the kind of messy bun I could never pull off. I munched on some fries, waiting for my friend to spill the beans on whatever it was that was bothering her. Every few moments I threw a look around, probably acting paranoid, but I’d rather see Ray coming than be caught unaware again.
No more hit-and-runs for me, thanks.
“So,” I started, earning me a questioning stare from her, “what’s going on?”
“I think we should talk about you, first,” Kelsey said, flashing me a dimpled grin. Her eyes were a warm chocolatey color, the kind of color that invited you in while her mouth was busy insulting you. I adored her with my whole heart, and I’d be lost without her. Going to Hillcrest had changed our plans—we were supposed to go to the same college together, room together, and basically have the best time of our lives together.
That, clearly, didn’t work out, not after I practically got a full ride to one of the most prestigious all-male schools around. Okay, basically the only all-male school around, but still. Next year it would be co-ed, which was going to be interesting…provided I lived to see it.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” I said, eyes falling to my lap.
“Fuck off, of course there is. You’re going to a rich, preppy school with rich, preppy boys. Tell me all the details, girl, because I know once we get back to that room, you’re going to be tight-lipped.” Kelsey eyed me up, her dark brows furrowing. “You never did send me a picture of your roommate shirtless.”
I laughed. “Never got the chance.”
“Hmm. I guess I’ll see for myself once I meet him, huh?” She wrinkled her nose. “And how did your pink revenge go on that other one? Uh, what was his name…”
“Sawyer,” I muttered, feeling a pang of regret. I replayed our last conversation over in my head I couldn’t say how many times, and not once was I okay with it. Didn’t he know I had my own problems to handle? I didn’t need his shit, too. And yet, he still dumped me with it.
Or maybe that was just me feeling strange now that he was done with me.
I…I didn’t want him to be done with me, just like I didn’t want him to fuck other girls. Sawyer wasn’t mine, and it probably came off as hypocritical after what I did with Declan earlier, but I didn’t care. I felt how I felt and I was too damn tired to make excuses for myself.
