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Too bad my own issues were what would deal me in.
I must’ve drifted off, because the next thing I know, an unfamiliar ring tone broke me out of my inner turmoil, jerking me awake. Some of the water from the tub splashed out, and I leaned over, reaching for the phone nestled in the clothes on the floor. My brand-spanking new phone, all shiny and new…oh, and look—now it had water all over it.
I saw who was calling, knowing I couldn’t not answer. It’d been too long since I’d talked to her, plus she’d texted me all weekend and I never responded, being in the hospital and all. It was long overdue to speak to my best friend, Kelsey.
Kelsey, who I really owed my life to.
I sank back in the tub, lifting my feet on the opposite wall, watching as the water dripped off them. Those toes were my toes, but they looked so…foreign. Like a part of me wasn’t sure whether or not they belonged on my body.
“Hey,” I said. One hand held the phone to my ear, the other skimmed the surface of the water over my stomach. I was a bit hungry, but food could wait. I sort of felt like throwing up anything I tried to eat, anyway. Even at the hospital, their bland, boring food choices made me want to puke.
“Hey?” Kelsey echoed, sounding a bit freaked out. I had no clue why. It wasn’t like she knew what my weekend had consisted of, beyond some payback for Sawyer. “What do you mean, hey? I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for two days now. Last I knew, you were going to Sawyer’s to teach him a lesson, and then—radio silence.”
Her words faded in the background of my mind as I wondered if Travis ever went back to Sawyer’s house and let him out. That little scheme of mine hadn’t gone as planned, thanks to Ray. Nothing in my life would ever go as planned again, I had the suspicion.
“Are you okay? Did it work?” Kelsey went on, pausing before she added, “You make me worry, you know. With everything—”
That got me to say, “I’m fine, Kelsey. Really, I’m okay. It worked. Sawyer has flaming pink hair now, and I bet he’s too stupid to Google how to get it out without dying over it.”
Kelsey waited a moment, and I could tell by the weight of the silence she was thinking. Ever since that day, since she’d picked me up in the middle of nowhere and saved my life, she’d acted like a second mom to me. Whereas before, she was the wild one, always dragging me places, getting me into shit. The tables had turned…that, or we grew up and life got serious.
“I think it’s time,” Kelsey finally spoke after her silence.
My brows came together. “Time for what?”
“Time for me to come visit you. I mean, it’s been way too long, right? I can’t go months without seeing my best friend. Fuck Thanksgiving break. I need to see you sooner than that. You got any hot plans for this weekend?”
I was too surprised at what she was saying. All I could say was: “Uh, no.” No specific plans, besides wallowing, maybe tearing up a bit, being mean to Declan to push him away. Nothing concrete, though.
“Then I’m coming to you. The rust bucket can make the drive…I think. Besides, Halloween is next Monday, so I’m sure the party scene is going to be kicking. You and I need to live it up while we can, right?” Kelsey didn’t wait for me to answer, plowing on, “I need to get away from here.”
So many thoughts raced in my head after she said that. The first: Halloween was so close? It was funny, ever since coming to Hillcrest, time itself had ceased to matter. It could’ve been Christmas tomorrow and I wouldn’t have realized it.
The second thought involved Kelsey coming here. Now was so not the time for my best friend to make her appearance here, not while I was bruised and aching, and not while I was trying to be a bitch to Declan and the others. It was too difficult to put up a facade in front of Kelsey; she saw right through it.
And the last thought revolved around what she’d said last. She needed to get away from her college? Why?
“What’s going on?” I asked, more than happy to focus on my friend’s drama instead of mine. After all, there was no possible way her drama could be as deadly as mine.
Kelsey sighed into the phone. “I’ll…I’ll just explain it when I get there. It’s stupid. But, anyway, I’m glad to finally hear back from you. You don’t know how worried I was, Ash. You better text your mom back, too. She texted me asking if I’d heard from you. I lied and said yeah, but…I don’t feel good about it.”
Yeah, because unlike me, Kelsey wasn’t a liar. Kelsey was a good person. She balanced me out, and I needed her in my life. I did not, however, need her to come to Hillcrest this weekend, Halloween next week or not.
“Kelsey,” I started, sitting up in the water, “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to come here right now. Things are complicated—” I supposed I could tell her the truth, but if she was like me and too busy with her life to pay attention to the news, she didn’t know Ray was out in the world, either. Then again, I’d never outright confessed that Ray was my psycho ex, so there was that.
“Things are always complicated with you,” she cut in, not having any of it. “Shut your hole, Ash. I’m coming to your rich campus and I’m going to torch the place.” Kelsey giggled. “I’m kidding, just in case any FBI are listening. Totally kidding. But seriously, I just need to get away from here, meet some rich boys, see if they can sweep me off my feet.”
In spite of myself, I laughed softly at her antics. Whatever was going on with her must be bad, and it made me wonder if I was a terrible friend for not pushing it further, for not asking about it. She’d mentioned having a hard time before, but I was too lost in my own problems with Sawyer and Travis to pay much attention.
“Can we do it next month?” I begged, not wanting her to come here, not while Ray was stalking me like this. If Ray hit me with a car, it was clear he’d go to any lengths to make me realize I was his and his alone.
Travis had sworn to me that he would never hurt me, but Ray? Ray was under no such obligation. Ray would hurt me, although I did find it odd, because his hurt usually went hand-in-hand with more mental anguish. Ray got inside your head and made you question your own sanity.
“Next month is Thanksgiving break, which would then mean I haven’t seen you in three months. Can’t do it, Ash. I need you now, okay? So shut the hell up and tell me what dorm you’re in again. I know you told me before, and I could scroll through our messages, but you know me. Lazy as fuck.”
I must’ve been the queen of bad decisions. I had to be, because why else would I have told Kelsey where I lived? Why else was I allowing her to come here, knowing all the shit that was happening to me? I was inviting her into my playpen of doom and death, but I was too numb inside to stop myself.
In the end, it wouldn’t be the only mistake I’d make.
