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Alone. I wasn’t ever alone, not really. Not when my mind and my heart were full. I’d thought I was broken forever after losing Sabrina, but Ash had stormed into my life like a whirlwind, unstoppable and powerful in every way. If my dad picked her to be Hillcrest’s first female student on purpose, he chose correctly. He knew the kind of girl I liked, what I needed.
Which was precisely why I didn’t want him to know about this.
Once Will was gone, I moved my gaze to the ceiling. What would I do if something happened to Ash? Would I break completely?
I knew one thing for sure: I never wanted to find out.
Chapter Six – Ash
My hair was greasy, but at this point, I didn’t give a shit. I lay in bed, the TV on, roaming the channels with the remote in my splint-free hand while my other hand rested across my stomach. It was early in the morning on Sunday, and I felt like I got no sleep. Which I supposed I hadn’t, because I spent most of it in the ER praying to a God I didn’t believe in, that Declan would be okay.
Declan didn’t deserve any of this. He was a good guy, even if he could get angry. Getting mad wasn’t something I could judge him for. We all had the right to get upset every now and then, and he had more reason than most.
I let out a sigh, turning my head to view his empty bed, his untouched sheets, which were still in the same crumple they were from Saturday morning, when he’d woken up. Declan never made his bed; he probably grew up with maids and people around willing to do it for him. I was of the mind that why should I bother trying to make the bed when I was only going to lay in it in less than twenty-four hours again? Seemed like wasted time and effort, neither of which I ever wanted to expend.
It wasn’t the same here without Declan. I knew I spent time alone in the dorm during the week when he was gone at class and I wasn’t, but this wasn’t like that. This was different. I knew he was in the hospital; I knew he was hurt, and I damn well knew it was probably because of me.
Travis.
I had to think of a way to get back at him without going all tattle-tale on him. I wasn’t a rat. I wasn’t a snitch. Where I grew up, doing something like that was worse than doing the crime itself, and yet…
No. I wouldn’t think about it. Now was not the time to get lost in memories that I’d tried so hard to forget.
A knock on the door alerted me to someone else’s presence, and I hoped with all my heart it wasn’t Travis. I wasn’t ready to face him again. I needed time to prepare, to think of the things I would say, what I would do to make him understand that I wasn’t his, and I sure as shit wasn’t a plaything he could lock up and punish whenever the fuck he wanted.
I left the TV playing, sliding off the bed before I moved toward the door. I leaned my face against the wood, peering through the peephole. It wasn’t Travis; it was Will. I was opening the door for him before I stopped to wonder what he was doing here without Declan in tow.
Declan was on a suicide watch. I had no idea how long they’d keep him at the hospital. I also had no idea if I should tell Dean Briggs about all of this. I mean, he did ask me to look after Declan. So far, I was doing a pretty shitty job.
Will walked in, and I closed the door behind him, glancing down at myself, temporarily forgetting whether or not I’d changed out of the bloody clothes. He hadn’t, but that’s because he’d been at the hospital all night. Thankfully I was blood-free, which was a teeny relief.
“Declan’s phone,” Will said, his hazel stare meeting mine.
I stood there for a moment, petrified under his warm gaze. His looks…Will was a good-looking dude. The Briggs gene pool must be a good one, because there wasn’t anything I’d change about him or Declan.
“Uh, the bathroom, I think.” I didn’t think I’d moved it much after calling 911 last night, but then again, last night was sort of a blur. I watched as Will went into the bathroom, coming out a few seconds later with a cellphone in his hands.
Will stared at me, eyes falling to my splinted hand as he said, “You cleaned it up.”
“Yeah,” I said. He meant the blood. The giant pool of blood on the bathroom floor. Like I was just going to sit back and leave it there? Tiptoe around the blood every time I had to use the toilet? Fuck that. Plus, the blood had already stained the grout between the tiles, so I was certain we’d be paying for it once move out time came at the end of the school year.
“I could’ve called a cleaning crew to clean it up,” Will went on, once again flashing his money.
“Why call a cleaning crew when you can do it yourself?”
Will’s lips tweaked into a small smile, but it faded almost instantly. “His charger?” I pointed to Declan’s desk, and Will went to grab it, bending down to unplug it from the outlet nestled beneath the desk, which gave me a good view of his back and his shoulders, not to mention the way the bottom fabric of his shirt crept up a bit, exposing some skin on his lower back.
When he got up, my eyes couldn’t help but fall to the bloodstain on his shirt, what he’d gotten from holding onto Declan and carrying him out of the building. Some girls—and guys, I guess—were repulsed at the sight of blood. Me? I didn’t particularly like it, but there was something so visceral about it.
Blood was life.
Will carefully set the phone and charger down on the desktop before moving closer to me. A foot away, and I could smell him again. Damn it. Was I only so attracted to him because he reminded me of Declan? Because he was like Declan without the baggage of Sabrina? A shitty thing to think, but maybe it was true.
Or maybe my body was just horny. It’d been a while.
“How are you feeling?” Will asked. He reached up, lightly touching the elbow of the splinted hand. “You taking anything for the pain?”
Oh, the hospital staff had written me a prescription for some kind of pill I was only supposed to take if the pain got bad, but pain was something I could handle. Pain was nothing to me. Pain was only a part of life, and it only hurt as much as you let it.
