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“Do you think I’m hiding something?”
Her lips quirked into a tiny smile. “I think it’s too early in our relationship for me to answer that correctly.” Ash sunk on the chair, her back sliding against the cushion. She lifted her legs, placing them beside mine on the second chair I was sprawled out on. Our feet nearly touched; nearly, but not quite. Though her feet were less than five inches from mine, there was still distance between us.
I didn’t like it.
“Your turn,” she said. “Ask me anything.”
There were a thousand and one questions I could’ve asked her right then, but I chose to say, “Why did you agree to come to Hillcrest?” How many girls would volunteer to be a test run, an experiment in a whole campus full of dicks? Some would, I knew, but I bet a lot wouldn’t. It took a girl with confidence in herself to believe she’d be alright.
Would Ash be okay? Would she come out of Hillcrest alive? Right now, I really hoped so, because I liked her. Goddamn it all, I liked her. A hell of a lot more than I should, considering what Sawyer wanted to use her for. It was clear though that Ash was not going to play the game Sawyer wanted her to, which only made me respect her more, like her more.
I was in some deep trouble when it came to her, I knew. Deep, deep trouble.
Ash took her time to think about the answer. She toyed with her fingers in her lap, and I resisted the urge to take one of her hands and hold it. That would only freak her out, move too fast, all that shit. I had to remember most people didn’t feel so intensely so quickly, not like me.
“You know how everyone always says if you work hard, you’ll succeed in your dreams?” Ash asked quietly. “It’s mostly bullshit. Some people can build themselves up out of nothing, but the fact is the majority of people can’t. I grew up with my mom since I was four. We were always tight on money. I took paper routes and odd jobs that paid cash since I was twelve to help out.”
“I’m sure your mom appreciated that,” I told her.
“She did, mostly because we could afford food that wasn’t ramen noodles and pasta,” Ash said, chuckling softly. “But growing up, I knew I didn’t want to be like her. If I ever had kids, I didn’t want them to be in the same position I was. I didn’t have a bad childhood, but…I worried a lot about things most kids don’t have to. I had to grow up fast.”
“So you wanted to come to Hillcrest to better yourself?”
“Going to college these days isn’t out of the ordinary. Even part-time, minimum wage jobs want to see a degree, which is ridiculous,” Ash said, glancing at me. “Just because you have a college degree doesn’t mean you’ll automatically make tons of money, not anymore. But a private university like Hillcrest? Recruiters come to this school before graduation with job offers. The education is better here than out there. You have more opportunities as an HU grad than a community college grad.”
I couldn’t deny her logic here. Money bought you a lot of things. Ash’s life after Hillcrest would be worlds different than what her life would’ve been like if she’d gone to someplace like Stanton—and the whole thing about degrees being a dime a dozen? So true. It was honestly why I was glad I didn’t need to worry about it.
Yes, most people who went to Hillcrest were in it for the education, or the future prospects, or simply because it was their parents’ alma mater. But me? I only came here because Sawyer did, and because Declan did. We were close growing up, all of us having gone to the same elementary and high school. A private one, uniforms and all that, more schools for the rich.
My family had wanted me to join the business right after high school; it was always assumed I would, especially after I failed third grade. But to be fair, third grade was when I discovered what the family business actually was—something my family usually kept the kids away from. It wasn’t a very kid-friendly business. But I’d said no, mostly because I wanted to live my life as my life for as long as I could. If that included going off to college, then so be it. I got decent grades when I tried.
“What about you?” Ash questioned. “Why did you come to Hillcrest? You don’t strike me as the type of person who is obsessed with their higher education.”
I smiled. No, I was obsessed with many things, but not that. “I came to Hillcrest to be with Sawyer and Declan. All my life, they were my only friends. They stayed my friends even when I failed third grade.”
“You failed third grade?”
I looked at her, at the smooth curve of her cheekbone and the soft puckering of her lips. “Yes, I should be a sophomore here, just like Declan and Sawyer, but I’m not. I’m a freshman like you.”
Ash stared at me like she didn’t know what to say. I’d stumped her, at least temporarily. “You really came here just to be with your friends? Now friend, I guess. You don’t care at all about what comes after all this?”
That was the problem with a lot of these other rich kids. Some of them were going to inherit, so to speak, their parents’ companies and their money. My family was a bit different—I wasn’t the only one needed to carry on the family legacy. And unlike these other students, I’d be hard at work once I got out of here. My family had money, but they had to work for it. Our money did not come free.
“I’ll be working with my family after Hillcrest,” I said, feeling the need to pull out another cigarette. Holding back had never been so hard, but I wanted to focus on the conversation Ash and I were having.
“And what does your family do?”
“If I told you that, I’d have to kill you.”
Ash smiled, probably thinking I was joking. I wasn’t, though. Family secrets stayed family secrets…although I couldn’t help but wonder how she’d take it if I told her the truth of it all, if I told her exactly what my family did and how we made all our money…
“Well,” she mused, tipping her right foot over, knocking it against mine, “I guess you probably shouldn’t tell me. I’d hate for you to have to do that.” Our stares locked. “As much as the world sucks these days, I do like living in it.”
I felt my mouth tug into a smile as I watched the silver light from the moon reflect in her gray irises. “Me too,” I whispered, desperately wishing there were no chairs between us. I wanted to pull her onto my lap and touch her, see what her reaction would be.
If she’d pulled herself away from Sawyer, she had a lot of self-restraint. Could I make her want to lose it?
Ash was about to say more, but loud shouting came from the house. She and I met eyes once again, the quiet moment we had been sharing completely shattered. It was of my own doing, of course. My own fucking doing; never had I wanted to take something back more. If I would’ve known this was where we’d be when he arrived, I never would’ve sent that picture. I wanted the drama, but I wanted to break apart her and Sawyer, not us.
