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Ryan tapped lightly against the hotel bathroom door. “Hayes? You OK?”
He’d been in there for over 40 minutes, and it was starting to freak Ryan out a bit.
Immediately after Sev left, Hayes had disappeared. Ryan figured maybe he needed to get his head on straight after what had just happened, so he let him have his space. But now he was concerned, considering he hadn’t even turned on the shower.
“Fine,” he responded for the fifth time.
“Do you think I can come in? Or maybe you can come out? You’ve been in there awhile and I’m starting to worry. And I need to brush my teeth.”
A moment later, he heard the door lock click, so he turned the handle and pushed it open slowly. He found Hayes leaning over with both palms pressed against the vanity, an uncapped pill bottle and a small bottle of whisky right next to him.
Ryan reached over, picked up the bottle, and capped it. “How, um…many did you take?”
“A couple. It’s my…”
“...shoulder,” Ryan interrupted. “Right.”
“Rook, don’t fuckin’ start,” Hayes warned quietly, closing his eyes, as Ryan reached for his toothbrush.
“We can talk about it if you want,” Ryan offered, as he squeezed some toothpaste out onto the brush head. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
“Talk about what?” Hayes asked, not moving.
“What just happened.”
“It happened. It’s over. What’s there to talk about?”
“Um…” Ryan wet his toothbrush and quickly stuck it in his mouth, buying himself some time, considering he really didn’t wanna talk about the incredibly hot, downright filthy threesome they’d just had with a man they both hardly knew either.
Hayes went and turned the shower on, stepping inside and closing the sliding glass door behind him. Ryan watched him as he just stood there letting the water cascade around him, arms crossed in front of him, his head dipping forward.
As much as he didn’t want to, Ryan knew there was something he needed to ask him. It was the second time it’d happened, and he knew Hayes wasn’t OK.
After rinsing his toothbrush, he stood next to the shower door. “Mind if I join you?”
Hayes nodded. “Go for it, stud.”
Ryan removed his clothing and stepped inside, standing behind him and wrapping his arms around his chest. Hayes immediately clutched his forearms and leaned his head back to rest on his boyfriend’s shoulder.
He was shaking, and Ryan didn’t know if it was because of the drugs or…something else, though the thought of it being either option terrified him.
“It happened again,” Ryan finally said.
“Yeah,” Hayes agreed softly. He really didn’t wanna go there, but he knew Ryan well enough to know that he’d just keep pushing until he did.
Ryan was referring to the way Hayes had reacted when Sev called him a good boy. It’d happened once before when Hayes was going down on Ryan in the backseat of the truck. Caught up in the moment and desiring to try something new, Ryan told him he loved watching him suck his cock like a good boy. Hayes had immediately stopped, all the color drained from his face, and he was silent for the rest of the night, assuring Ryan that it must’ve been something he’d eaten.
“You can trust me, Ty,” Ryan whispered, kissing the side of his face. “I’m your safe space, OK? Nothing you could tell me would ever change how I feel about you. Absolutely nothing. You know that, right?”
Hayes nodded again, squeezing his eyes shut even tighter. He said a silent prayer of thanks to whatever God there was for putting this man into his life, followed by a silent prayer of strength to please not ever let him fuck this up.
“I was 15, Rook.”
Fuck.
He’d never told anyone.
But if he was going to tell someone, it was going to be Ryan.
