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I dumped the sandwich on a plate and gave Smith my full attention.
“What do you want me to say? She confuses the fuck out of me. I don’t trust her yet I can’t stop myself from wanting to get close. Her attitude drives me around the bend. She’s smart as fuck yet dangerously vulnerable and I can’t stop myself from wanting to shield her from all the shit swirling around her. Part of me wants to tie her ass up and take her away from all of this and not let her free until you and the team take out Maddon. The other part of me wants to watch her take him down. She impresses me and pisses me off, both of those at the same time. The way she shuts down makes me insane but when she opens up and gives me a glimpse of the real her I want to protect her with my life. I’ve never met a woman I wanted to run from, yet when she said something about parting ways my gut clenched to the point of pain. So with all of that, brother, I’m at a loss. There’s nothing to say because there’s nothing to be done.”
“Nothing to be done?”
“Did you miss the part about me not trusting her or about how crazy she makes me?”
Smith’s response was to smile.
I shook my head thankful the conversation was over and grabbed Nebraska’s plate.
“I didn’t miss shit, brother. Certainly not the part about her driving you crazy. Your problem is you’re ignoring the important parts.”
It was official. I was seriously fucking over riddles. From vague answers from Nebraska to Zane acting like a shifty bastard. Now that the big secret was out I’d hoped the ambiguity would no longer be a factor. However, it would seem it was Smith’s turn.
“And what are the important parts?”
“Maybe she drives you crazy because you’re crazy about her.”
“Yeah, Smith, she’s crazy, she drives me crazy, and I’m crazy for liking it. That’s too much crazy.”
The idiot just smiled.
“You know another word for crazy?” he pressed.
I knew a lot of other words for crazy but the two I would use at that very moment were—this conversation. That’s what was crazy. I was participating in this insane conversation. And not only that but my participation was encouraging Smith to continue.
When I didn’t answer in hopes he’d lose interest he answered his own question.
“Passion.”
Yep.
He was crazy, too.
“And when that shit finally explodes all over the place, you’ll get it.”
“Get what?” I stupidly asked.
“The reason she drives you crazy. The reason why you took one look at her and agreed to help Charlie even though you had no clue what you were agreeing to. I wasn’t there, but the way Theo tells it, you were all-in at first sight. However, I was there when you found out I’d seen her in Brazil. I was also there when Zane kicked her out of the office and I was there when you got back and I was there in your living room when Charlie admitted he’d kept Anna a secret from her. And finally, I’ve been with you and her the last few days. I haven’t missed a single reaction you’ve had to her because there’s no way to miss them. You’re so wrapped up in her you can’t see straight, which means it’s going to take you being knocked on your ass for you wake the fuck up and open your eyes. In the meantime you have one objective—keep that trap of yours shut and don’t say something stupid you can’t take back.”
That was the second time he’d given me that warning. The second time he looked sucker-punched while giving it. I knew the story, we all did, but that didn’t mean Smith liked talking about it or about her. As a matter of fact I’d only ever heard him say her name once. After that he’d referred to her as ‘she’ or ‘her.’ Which in my opinion meant he wasn’t over what she said to him.
“Brother—”
“We’re not talking about her.”
He spat the word ‘her’ like it tasted foul.
Nope. Not over her.
“Maybe we should.”
The atmosphere in the kitchen changed. I couldn’t say it went subzero but it sure as fuck got frosty.
“Sure,” he mock-agreed. “As soon as you pull your head out of your ass about Nebraska we’ll talk.”
With that, he nabbed his plate with two more sandwiches on it and brushed past me.
