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Rhode nodded but remained quiet.
“What’s your take?” I asked. “Is Louis trying to bypass the auction by snatching Atlee or is he scouting for Martin?”
My friend’s expression turned menacing.
“I reached out to Shep, asked him to see what he could find on Louis’s activities in the last twenty-four hours. He was able to trace some searches on Atlee back to LWE offices.”
Fucking hell.
“What kind of searches?”
“Job history. Family. General background.”
“He wants to know who will come looking for her if she disappears.”
Again Rhode nodded but didn’t comment.
I fucked up.
I should’ve anticipated this and had Shep build a cover for Atlee, giving her lots of siblings, community ties, and parents who were overly involved in her life. It would’ve made Louis think twice about taking her. Instead I was too busy playing grab ass and selfishly working through my issues with Atlee.
Another failure.
“He’s not getting his fucking hands on her, Rhode.”
“She’s got you and Jack there and we have the upper hand. We’re coming at this from a place of knowledge.”
“Thanks for the call and good work.”
My finger hovered over the touchpad of my laptop, getting ready to disconnect the video call when Rhode said, “Your priorities have shifted.”
A chill seeped in.
I seemed to remember saying something similar to Rhode when he found Brooklyn and her life was in danger.
“Rhode—”
“It’s time, Wilson,” he grunted. “Well past time. You’re the first one in the office, the last to leave, the one who has our backs, always has wisdom to share. Yet you stand removed and drown yourself in work. What happened to your wife was a fucked-up tragedy, but it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t have the tools to help her because no one told you. How were you supposed to know something was wrong when everyone including her was hiding she was sick?”
I was always alone. You left me and didn’t see it.
“I knew something was wrong,” I snarled the truth. “I fucking knew and I still left her alone.”
I tried to be the wife you wanted. I tried to give you the life you deserve but I couldn’t. I’m tired, Wilson. I’m tired of pretending I’m good enough for you. Maybe if you’d left the military after we lost the first baby. Maybe if I’d had more of you I wouldn’t be so tired.
“Wilson—”
“For years we tried to start a family. Years of disappointment made harder because I was gone all the time. Hard to knock up your wife and give her what she wanted most when you put your service before her. Hard to help your wife deal with the aftermath of miscarriage after miscarriage when you’re doing workups and training. I didn’t miss shit, Rhode. I saw the sadness, the grief, the devastation. I chose to ignore it.”
“Bullshit!” Rhode matched my tone. “I don’t believe for a second you didn’t ignore her pain.”
You moved on with your life and left me to mourn our losses by myself.
“I buried my pain in work and left her to hers.”
My chest felt tight, old scars tearing open, reminding me I had no business falling in love with Atlee. My love came with a price—the cost too steep for my beautiful Atlee to pay.
“I have to go.”
