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When we get to our steps, Noah and I pause. “Do you think we should go in?”
I stare up at the house and nod. “It’s either good news or back to the clinic for another round.”
“Elle’s a trooper,” Noah says. “Nothing seems to faze her.”
“That’s not true,” I tell him. “You see what she wants you to see. I see the real her. The parts of her she hides from everyone else. She even hid from Ben for a long time because she didn’t want him to judge her. It took her a long time to really, truly open up to him. Honestly, it’s no different with me and you. You see a completely different me, especially at home. You know my ins and outs, what works for me and what doesn’t, and you know what I need. Elle wants a baby with Ben, especially after everything he’s been through.”
Noah pulls me to him and cups my cheek. “Your love for your sister is unwavering. All I meant was, the shots didn’t faze her. On the off chance she has to go through the treatment again, she can do it. She’s strong and determined. I didn’t mean to insult her.”
My hand grips his wrist and I turn my head slightly to kiss his palm. “I’m sorry. I forget that you’ve been there our entire lives. You know her too.”
“Probably more than I should being her brother-in-law.”
“True.” We climb the steps and head to the outside shower. I brush Stevie Nicks while Noah works on Beau. We’ll never get all the sand off them, and I resign myself to having sandy floors. “I’ll sweep the floors later,” I tell Noah when I give up.
He laughs, brushes off his feet then mine, and then we head into a very quiet house, which I take as a good sign.
“Hello,” I call out.
“In the living room,” Ben says.
Noah and I approach with caution and find Elle and Ben sitting on the couch. Neither of them looks at us or even each other. There’s a single pregnancy test sitting on our coffee table, on top of a paper towel. My husband directs me toward the love seat before I can reach for the stick to see if I’m going to be an aunt or not.
“You’re scaring me,” I tell my sister. “Spit it out.”
“Maybe I’m contemplating some grand reveal like you and Noah did.”
“Noah planned it, not me.”
Elle eyes Noah, who’s grinning like a fool.
“Elle,” I say her name softly. “At Thanksgiving I asked if you’d carry mine and Noah’s child and you said you couldn’t because you and Ben wanted to start a family. I said I wanted us to be pregnant at the same time if we could figure things out. Do you remember?”
She nods.
I swallow hard, looking for any sign, but she’s stoic. Not flinching or even hinting at anything. Noah reaches for my hand. “You’re killing me, Elle. Are we going to have our babies at the same time?” My voice cracks at the end. I cover my mouth instantly, already knowing what she’s going to say.
“How does Auntie P sound to you?”
I’m not sure who I scare more with my scream, the dogs or Noah. Elle and I jump up at the same time, ignoring the men in the room. We hug each other tightly, crying into each other’s shoulders.
“We’re going to be moms,” Elle says, and I nod. “I’m so fucking screwed.”
16
NOAH
Alan calls, says he’s in town and wants to stop by. Of course, I tell him yes because I’m a guy and I don’t think about things, like how there are a hundred and one pregnancy magazines all over the living room or how the garbage is full, as is the sink because Peyton and I haven’t moved from the movie room in a couple of days. She wanted to watch movies like Three Men and a Baby, and some others. I was happy to oblige her in every way possible.
Now, we’re frantic. Peyton yells at me for moving slowly but honestly, I’m not sure what she wants me to clean. She thinks our house is dirty. It’s not. Especially after I load the dishwasher and turn it on. I also gathered her magazines and put them in our bedroom. Sure, we haven’t made the bed yet, but Alan is definitely not going in there.
“Babe,” I say when she tries to brush past me. “Take a deep breath.”
“It’s perception, Noah. Alan’s only ever been to our apartment. He’s going to come in here and think we live like pigs.”
“The apartment in Portland is clean because we’re never home and have a maid. Here is where we live. This house looks lived in.”
Peyton looks off to the side. “Should I hire a maid? I should. Shouldn’t I? A professional would have this place clean in minutes compared to the hours it’s going to take me. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.”
