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“This is Conchita’s job. Why isn’t she doing it?” If looks could kill, she would have fallen swifter than a bird shot from the sky. The joy and excitement she’d harboured for the meeting with Gabi seeped from the wound her mama had inflicted. She might as well be lying prone on the stone floor, bleeding, on a slow route to her death. “Mama, I need to talk to you.” She had to try to explain to her that she couldn’t marry Nicolás, or any man.
“Not now. I’m busy. Your sister is sorting out necessary wedding preparations. You have nothing as important as that to give your time to. Ojalá, que no fueras tan insolente. Vamos.” Mama thrust the basket at Aisha. “Tómalo.”
Aisha took it and let it hang at her side. She didn’t mean to be rude to Mama. She wasn’t being listened to and that was infuriating.
“Allow me to escort you, Aisha. It would be my pleasure,” Nicolás said.
Aisha turned towards him and tightened her grip. “I’ll be fine.”
Mama beamed at him, the saviour of her delinquent daughter. She could scream.
“This is a very good idea. Perhaps, Nicolás, you can help her lose her disrespectful attitude.”
She launched another dismissive wave at Aisha. There was no point in challenging her because she would become angrier. Even if Aisha ran all the way to the old man’s house and back, she would miss the bus she needed to catch to get into the city on time. At best, she would be an hour and a half late. Gabi would think she didn’t want to see her. Some would say it was nature’s way of getting her to do the right thing by her family. She didn’t believe that.
“So, who is this friend you’ve arranged to meet?” Nicolás asked as they walked.
“No one you know.”
They continued in silence. Aisha lengthened her stride, and the anger and frustration burned inside her. Being late was annoying, but not being free ate away at her like a parasite that couldn’t be destroyed. There was no one she could talk to. No one she could share her dreams with who would understand what it was to be her.
“Is this friend a man?” he asked.
She stopped walking, turned to him, and put her hands on her hips. “This isn’t a conversation I want to have. Not everything revolves around men and marriage, Nicolás. I’m not interested in either.” Her heart pounded. She’d said too much. She bit her tongue and watched his response, hoping he hadn’t picked up on what she was really saying.
He shook his head. “You would tell me if there was another man?”
She choked on the breath that she’d been holding, and a little of the tension slipped from her.
His mouth twitched as he spoke. “I really care about you, and if there was another man for you, it would break my heart. But I want you to be happy. This would explain your reaction to me.”
She felt sorry for him, pinning his hopes on her, but she needed to keep him sweet, or her parents would encourage her towards another suitor in their village and another man might be less patient with her. “There isn’t another man. If I wanted to get married, then I would choose you, Nicolás. I’m just not ready for that yet. I love to dance. I want to meet new people and learn about the world.” I want to be able to breathe as me, not as we. Their culture and their history defined them both, but where it nurtured him, it destroyed her.
He gave her a half-smile. It was better than a scowl and suggested he had bought into her story.
“I can still hope,” he said and carried on up the hill with a little more of a spring in his step.
Thinking about Gabi lifted her spirits and drowned out his presence. She would get a message to the hotel and hope that Gabi could forgive her. Maybe they could go to lunch or take a long walk together along the river and talk sometime soon. She wanted to know more about England and the incredible life Gabi must have there. Gabi wanted to explore Granada, and Aisha could show her around. There was so much to see. What harm could come from them spending time together? Her heart answered the question, and she couldn’t quash the feeling, though she knew she should.
11.
GABI SAT ON THE low wall of the fountain and turned her face to the sun. Her pulse raced, and her insides vibrated like soda inside a cocktail shaker as she thought about Aisha. She couldn’t remember feeling this nervous and excited when she’d first met Shay, so that was a positive. When Shay had walked out on her, she’d felt the pain that came with rejection and worse still, being taken for a fool, but she hadn’t missed her. The one-night stands had masked the loneliness that had haunted her since childhood in a way that her relationships hadn’t, but she’d also come to dislike herself, because she wanted the stability of being with one woman in a loving relationship.
She’d thought about Aisha a lot since that first night, and although seeing her at the market and spending time with her yesterday had felt awkward, she was sure they’d connected. The music, the dancing, the food, the wine, the place. It was all very dreamy, and Granada was a beautiful city, but there was something else. She felt more at ease now that she wasn’t hunting Nana down every five seconds. It was as if her history here had laid down roots for her to connect with, as if she were a part of this place she hadn’t known before. It didn’t make sense. It was a feeling of belonging, and maybe it wasn’t hers at all. Maybe it was Nana’s, and she’d somehow tuned into it.
It was nuts feeling the way she did about a stranger, and maybe she was in danger of making the mistakes she’d made before, thinking she was in love when really it wasn’t love at all, but she couldn’t lie. She felt crazy, bonkers, and a little intimidated, so this had to be different from Shay, and the one-nighters didn’t count for anything.
As time moved on, she became edgy and wandered around the tiny square. It wasn’t difficult to be seen, so Aisha couldn’t miss her. She studied the Los Patos sign on the wall of a house, even though she knew she was in the right place. She’d walked the route three times from the hotel yesterday, and she’d arrived at 10:45 a.m. even with picking up a coffee on the route. The Spanish had a more laidback attitude to time, so being late was probably just the norm.
That didn’t stop Gabi questioning if she’d completely misread Aisha’s intentions, blinded by her own confused feelings. Her stomach tightened at the thought of being stood up. Had she pushed Aisha to say yes? She didn’t think so. Aisha must have got caught up somewhere. Gabi didn’t know which voice inside her head was right, but she knew which one she wanted to believe. She’d give Aisha a bit longer.
She looked towards each entrance to the square in turn as the minutes ticked by. Every second reminded her of feeling invisible, just as she was as a child at Nana’s, watching the pendulum of the grandfather clock tick, not knowing, tock, waiting. Her dad’s voice raised in anger. She felt it now, the gut wrenching feeling of being ignored while being talked about, when all she’d wanted was for him to hold her and tell her she’d be okay.
Time moved slowly. Half an hour slipped into forty-five minutes. She’d been fooled, like she was with Shay. Stupid, stupid, stupid, Gabi. That voice in her head, that didn’t like her too much, had taken hold and the thoughts tripped convincingly through her mind. She shouldn’t have come on the damn trip, and she should never have fooled herself into thinking that she had anything to offer someone as beautiful as Aisha.
She folded her arms to protect her aching heart and strode back and forth, the weight of disappointment dragging at her feet and the emptiness inside expanding. It could consume her and still she couldn’t bring herself to walk away, because she didn’t want to admit the truth. Aisha wasn’t coming.
She sat on the ground at the base of the fountain, closed her eyes, and gritted her teeth to stem the tears. The let-down was worse because the anticipation had been electrifying. Gabi tapped her watch face. It couldn’t be 12:15 p.m. already. Should she give Aisha another half an hour? She couldn’t leave yet.
