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“I totally get it. I do. And I agree with you. I’d want the exact same thing if I was in your position. Of course I would. But I can’t in good conscience just leave you in this state.”
Her laughter was one of the least joyous things I’d ever heard—a hollow cackle that cut through the night air then stopped as abruptly as it had started. “Are you fucking insane? After what you put me through tonight you want to stand here and with a straight face talk about your fucking conscience. Are you a sociopath? Someone with a healthy conscience doesn’t do the things you’ve done in the first place.” I couldn’t argue with her logic.
“Where the fuck was your conscience when I was peeing myself in fear with a bomb around my neck? What do you want from me? To absolve you from your guilt about the despicable things you’ve done? That’s never going to happen. I hate you. All of you, and there’s no lending me your jacket or walking me up the stairs that is going to fix that. Not even close. So will you please just move out of the way?
Chapter 32
Honey
I woke with a start, not sure where I was, or what was going on, but with a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was wrong. My suspicion was confirmed a few moments later.
“There she is. Welcome back. You gave me a little fright there. How are you feeling?” Jesus! It was like I was trapped inside a bad dream, or a movie about a psychopath.
I jumped to my feet, desperate to get away. Big mistake. Huge. As though someone had pulled the floor from beneath me like an unwanted rug, my knees gave way, and I started falling. Bear moved toward me at what seemed like inhuman speed, and had me in his arms before I hit the deck.
“Woah, take it easy. I don’t think getting up so quickly after you’ve fainted is a good idea. You’ll pass out again if you’re not careful. Just chill a minute. I won’t do anything, I won’t even look at you, if that helps, but please just relax a little.”
“I blacked out?”
“Yeah, not for long, but long enough for me to carry you here. You don’t remember?”
“Nope. The last thing I can recall is yelling at you, and now I’m here. Seems weird.” I still felt woozy, but I didn’t want to get too comfortable on Bear’s couch. I just wanted to go back to my room.
“Weird how?”
“I don’t know.” I narrowed my eyes as I looked at him, and he eyeballed me back as though he didn’t have a thing in the world to hide.
“Yeah, you do. Don’t be shy, just come right out and say it.”
“Well, I thought you might have...” I let the sentence trail off, realizing the magnitude of the words I was about to utter, and thinking better of it.
“Might have what?”
I watched the vein in his temple throb for a little while before answering. “That you might have drugged me.”
“Jesus Christ! What? You fainted! Was I supposed to just leave you to hit the sidewalk and hope you didn’t break your nose, or your cheekbone, or lose a couple of teeth? Or even better, smash your head and end up with a fucking concussion or a fractured skull? I mean, I get that you hate me, and like I said before, I can understand why, but do I really seem to you like the kind of guy who would drug a woman?”
“Until tonight, as much as I wasn’t your number one fan, I didn’t figure you for the kind of guy who would fuck me, and then moments later come back and threaten to blow my head off, so now I really don’t know what to think.”
“Fair point. Well, not that you’ll believe me, but for what it’s worth, I didn’t drug you or otherwise harm you. I’m sure the doctor will confirm that for you.”
“What doctor?”
“You passed out. I called a doctor to come check you over.”
“I’m not staying here for—” I made to leave the couch again, shoving the blanket that had been placed over me to the floor, determined to work through the wooziness.
“Listen, just think rationally for a moment. You’ve had a shock, you fainted, I think maybe you caught a chill or something. Would you please just stay here long enough for the doc to come and give you the all clear? She’ll be here shortly. I can leave in the meanwhile, if that makes you feel more comfortable?”
“Leave and go where? It’s your room. If anyone needs to go, it’s me. Just as soon as I...” I tried again to stand and failed. Fuck.
“Seriously. Would you please just chill. I promise I won’t hurt you. I won’t even speak to you. Except to offer you my bathtub and some clean dry clothes. Here.”
He held out a pile of garments and I eyed them suspiciously, but didn’t reach out for them. Bear waited for an extended time, before dropping the pile onto the couch next to me.
“I mean, even if I was inclined to take up your offer, how the hell would I wear your clothes? We’re hardly similar sizes.” On account of the fact that Bear was built like half a building, and I was pretty average sized.
“Hahaha. True. Those are my sister’s things. She left them in the dryer the last time she stayed with me for a few days, and I never got around to sending them back to her. I figured she could just take them with her next time she stays.”
