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“We could,” James agrees. “But how? You live in California. Daniel is going back to Vegas. And I’m in Austin, then Portland, then Paris.” He shakes his head, looking distraught. “Emily might be right.”
“Might be right,” Daniel echoes.
Aiden stares around the room. “Come on, guys. We’re rich as fuck. We can figure this out.”
“No,” I say. “I don’t want to figure it out. Whatever it was back there was great… but it’s over now. It has to be over.”
Aiden looks hurt. They all look hurt. James can’t meet my eye, Daniel looks angry, and Ryan is staring at the ceiling. Carter stands up, pain clear in his expression as he walks over to me. “Are you sure about this?” he asks.
“No,” I say, laughing slightly. “But it’s for the best.”
He looks like he wants to argue, but instead he just nods. “Okay then.”
I pause, staring around me. Maybe I want them to argue, try and get me to stay, try and figure it out with me. Maybe we can buy a house out here and just live together.
But that’s a fantasy, and I already got one fantasy. I can’t let myself desire another. I’m just going to be horribly disappointed when it doesn’t pan out.
I have to be happy with what we had and move on.
“Goodbye, guys,” I say, and turn away from the room.
I walk out the door. I don’t know how I have the strength to do it, because leaving those guys breaks me into a thousand pieces. I hate myself for it, despise myself so much, but I have to do it for myself. I have to, because as bad as this hurts, it could hurt even more if I let myself hope.
It’s over, and I have to accept it. There’s no turning back. I’m moving forward into whatever broken, empty future I’m looking toward.
