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“We knew this was never going to last,” she blurted, sitting to put on her boots. “You being what you are.” Her being mortal. “Besides, Levian makes the Veil sound like a freaking paradise.”
Silence fell. It took Gwen all of a few minutes to gather up her things and shove them into a bag. She barely paid attention to what all she was grabbing in her blind rage.
As she shuffled around, he didn’t once try to stop her. Not once did he say he wanted her to stay. Or that he would miss her. Or that what they’d shared had meant something to him. Or anything. He was silent.
The more she moved, the more her raw emotions threatened to spill out. Gwen knew Sirus felt something for her in that icy, cavernous heart of his, but it didn’t mean he loved her. All this time, he’d been warning her away. All this time, she’d been ignoring him. What an idiot she’d been.
“Take me to her,” she bit out once she was done. “The sooner I’m out of here, the better.” Liar.
Sirus looked over at her. Silent. Stoic.
Gwen didn’t wait for him to take the lead. She shot out the door, unable to stand being near him any longer. Afraid that if she stayed, she would fall to pieces or say something utterly stupid. Like beg him to let her stay.
She just needed to keep herself together, at least long enough to get out of this damned castle. After that—what did it even matter after that?
It wasn’t until a gust of sharp, frozen wind caught her lungs that Gwen realized she’d already made it outside. She just had to keep her feet moving. That’s all. The moon was bright overhead and the forest would guide her. All she had to do was follow it.
Sirus lingered several feet behind her, his crunching footsteps barely managing to register in her pounding ears. To Gwen’s frustration, her fury began to lose a little of its heat with each step, and the ache in her chest grew unbearable. Was he going to say nothing? Was she going to say nothing?
“I am sorry, Gwendolyn,” he said at last. It was like an arrow through her heart, the hint of pain in his voice.
She stopped, panting in lungfuls of air, the cold wind stinging her lungs. “I don’t want your apology, Sirus,” she clipped, not turning back to look at him.
In true Sirus fashion, he didn’t reply.
She huffed a despondent laugh and sniffled. “That night you came to my apartment—I could feel you there behind me. I was terrified, but I didn’t know why,” she recalled, the memory of that night cascading through her. “It was like deep down I knew the thing waiting for me in the darkness would change—everything.”
Frigid tears ran down her cheeks. She didn’t know what to do. There was so much she wanted to tell him. So much she was afraid to say. It hit her suddenly that this might be the last time she ever saw him, and her heart simply shattered.
The thing in the darkness had changed everything. He’d changed her.
Sirus had made her feel capable. Strong. Beautiful. Powerful. She’d never thought it possible. She took in a steadying breath and wiped the tears from her eyes. She was all of those things, with him or without him, she knew now. She’d just hoped it could be with him.
Gwen knew she couldn’t just walk away. Not without saying goodbye. She turned and sucked in a breath when she found him standing right in front of her. His eyes were black, just like they’d been that night of the mirrors. She froze under his piercing dark gaze.
“You deserve happiness, Gwendolyn,” he told her. He reached up and cupped her cheek with his hand, and she stuttered a breath.
It was just like in her dream. His warmth. That touch.
Sirus ran his thumb over her cheek. “I am not?—”
“Don’t,” she cut him off, trying to hold back her tears. Gwen reached up to cover his hand with hers. Deep down, she knew she was fighting a losing battle. She had been from the start.
Maybe it was stupid and naive that she’d fallen for a vampire, but she had. Their time together in the castle had been the happiest time of her life, even if it had been short. She felt at home here. Like part of a family. With Sirus, she’d felt a connection she’d never felt with anyone. She loved him. And dammit, she wouldn’t regret it. Not ever. Not even if this was how it had to end.
His eyes were still black and ominous. Sirus dropped his hand, and she felt the stark chill of the air replace the warmth of his touch. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him. How much she wanted to stay. But she knew that would only make it worse. It would only make this goodbye that much harder.
“Goodbye, Sirus,” she breathed, then with every ounce of strength she had left, she tore herself away. “Tell Rath and the others I’ll miss them,” she stammered. “And that I’m sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye.” As she backed away from him his eyes shifted back to their frosty blue. With one final sniffle, Gwen turned and stalked further into the forest, leaving him behind, driven by the need to protect what tethers of her heart remained intact.
Gwen soon broke through the dense trees and came to a small clearing. Iathana sat on the edge of a fallen tree, her magick palpable as it slipped through the air, enveloping Gwen like a warm bath. The dryad’s golden eyes fell on her the moment she came into view, and a soft smile spread over her lips. She reached up to push back the hood of her gray cloak, revealing her shaved head and pointed fae ears covered in gold and silver earrings. Her dark brown skin seemed to shimmer in the faint light of the moon.
“Gwendolyn,” she said in a deep, honeyed voice that made Gwen feel a rush of warmth. Iathana rose from her perch, her movements even more ethereal than Levian’s. Now that Gwen had met a full fae, she understood what everyone had been talking about. The dryad seemed both of the earth in the most primal sense and not of this world at all. She was remarkable.
Iathana’s warm smile did not waver as she came to stand across from Gwen. “You wish to come to the Veil, child?” she asked.
Her heart sank. No. Gwen didn’t want to go. But what choice did she have?
She swallowed a lump of air as her nerves skittered with awareness and fear. Sirus’s dark, shadowy presence slipped between Iathana’s warm, magickal glow behind her.
