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“Fuck you.” There’s no heat in my words.
“You’ve been staring at that piece of chicken for, like, five minutes. Just put it in your mouth and chew. Don’t tell me this girl has you so bent out of shape that you can’t eat.” He smirks at me before taking an exaggerated bite of his burger.
Normally, it’s the dialysis messing with my appetite. But missing my donor doesn’t seem to be helping.
Weeks. I haven’t seen her in weeks. Since before fall break.
She responds to my texts hours after I send them with one-worded answers or emojis. So, I’ve stopped texting her. Doesn’t mean I’ve stopped thinking about her.
What went wrong? After the bakery, I thought there was something happening between us. Now, I’m getting ghosted.
Just to get Jasper to stop harassing me, I shove the rest of my lunch down my throat, and we head out of the sandwich shop.
“I don’t get it. You hung out a couple of times. I mean sure, Holly is cool and definitely hot, but so are a lot of other girls. So what if she’s busy? Or not interested? It’s not the end of the world. Find someone else. And she’s still giving you her kidney!”
My roommate’s arguments grate on my nerves. Mainly because they’re rational.
Doesn’t change the fact that, when my mind wanders, it goes straight to her pink lips, laughing eyes, and gentle hands. From the way she touched me in the car, I would’ve sworn that I wasn’t the only one interested.
“I know it doesn’t make sense. But Holly’s different. I can’t stop thinking about her.”
“So you need—” He stops talking and walking at the same time, and I have to backtrack to keep from leaving him behind. Jasper stands, relaxed, on the sidewalk with a thoughtful expression.
“What’s up?”
I’m not worried about his weird pause. Jasper is prone to random redirections and topic changes.
“Maybe this’ll do the trick.” Jasper puts on his pleasant but distant face so fast that I know I’ve missed something important.
“What—”
“Hey, Annabelle.”
Oh shit.
Jasper directed his greeting over my shoulder, meaning that I just need to turn around to see her. Funny how, every day, I hope to casually run into a certain person, but the massive campus doesn’t allow that to happen, yet it practically delivers my ex-girlfriend right into my lap.
“Hey, Jasper. Hi, Ben.”
Yep, that’s her voice all right. Soft, sweet, and shy, almost like a child’s.
I’m not a jackass, so I turn around with a polite smile to return her hello. “Hey, Annabelle.”
She hasn’t changed much since the beginning of the summer when I broke things off. Her wavy sunshine hair still falls a few inches above her waist. The legs peeking out of her thickly patterned bohemian dress show off a solid tan. Annabelle is a naturally beautiful girl who looks like she belongs on some California beach, sitting around a bonfire, weaving jewelry out of twine and seashells.
Right now, she’s approaching me like I’m a stray dog who might sprint away if she moves too fast. Perceptive, as I’m contemplating giving a quick wave and jogging off to safety. But that’s the coward’s move. It’s just that the last conversation we had made it clear that we weren’t right for each other, which I said. And then she cried.
I stand firm and embrace the awkward small talk. “How’s it going?”
She beams like I’ve done her a favor. “I’m doing really well. Had a good summer with my family. And I’ve been working on a lot of new pieces.”
“That’s great. I’m glad to hear it.” Not a lie.
Annabelle’s art was the first thing that attracted me to her.
“And you? How are you doing?”
I have no intention of discussing with one of my exes my current unrequited infatuation, so I share the news she might care about.
