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Like she can read my mind, Holly turns my question around on me. “What about you?”
Me?
I’m lucky they haven’t hooked me up to a heart rate monitor yet because that shit would be going haywire, screaming warning bells like there’s a fire. I’m ready to rip my IV out, followed by hers, throw her over my shoulder, and sprint out of this white-tiled nightmare.
But I shouldn’t tell her any of that. She needs me to be strong for her.
To tell her everything is going to be fine.
Right?
The second I open my mouth to give Holly some bullshit answer, I meet her soft brown eyes, wide open and honest. And I realize she’s not asking me to comfort her. She just wants to know the truth.
And I remember my promises—that I wouldn’t lie anymore, that I’d tell her everything.
Time to put up or shut up.
“I’m fucking terrified.” I cringe. “Sorry! I meant, flipping. I’m flipping terrified.”
Instead of glaring at me for my slip, an adorable smile wrinkles her nose. “Don’t apologize.” She bites her lip and then admits, “I’m flipping terrified, too.” Before I can tell her to back out then, she gets a determined expression on her face. “I have no control. That freaks me out. But I don’t need to control something for it to turn out all right. I can let go, and things will still be okay in the end.” Holly beams at me now, the sight so beautiful that I can barely think. “It’s just like one of your surprise adventures.”
I don’t have time to respond because a set of nurses walks through the double doors behind her bed.
“Time to get you two set up. Let’s go.”
I’m still struggling for words as we’re rolled into a large room filled with everything needed to take out Holly’s kidney and put it in me. The team is efficient, hooking up all the wires and wrapping blood pressure cuffs around our arms. It’s only when I see one of the medical team members plug a syringe into Holly’s tubing and tell her to count backward from ten that I realize my time is up.
“Ten, nine—”
“Holly!” I’m frantic for her to meet my eyes, but when she turns her head, her pupils don’t really focus on me.
“Eight—”
“I love you!”
Her lids are still half-open, but her mouth has gone slack. She doesn’t say, Seven. She doesn’t say, I love you, too.
Instead, the doctor adjusts her head and fits a breathing tube in her mouth.
“Okay, buddy, I’m gonna need you to count backward from ten.”
I tear my gaze off Holly and meet the eyes of the guy holding the syringe meant to knock me out. Before I can rage at him for not letting me know I lost my last seconds with her, he pushes the plunger down.
They all expect me to follow the rules, rattle off numbers until I pass out.
But I’m busy. Every part of my rapidly fading brain is begging the universe not to take Holly away from me just when I’ve found her.
HOLLY
Head fuzzy. My head is fuzzy.
I blink slow. Real slow.
This room is fuzzy. Those lights are fuzzy.
And bright.
I’m awake.
