Page 86 of Ninth Circle


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Dad still doesn’t know that it was me who got his house condemned; he has no idea where his car is, and he will never know that I was the one who transferred his money. He’s lucky I’m not going after his job, but the only reason I’m not is because of Mom.

She loves him, and as much as I wouldn’t forgive my husband for cheating, that’s her cross to bear. I went back over everything I had done so far and hoped it got the job done because even though I had more ammunition in my arsenal, I find that I am getting tired of dealing with old shit.

I think that’s what happens when you find happiness that you didn’t even know you were missing. Things that used to hold importance in your life just lose some of their zest. I don’t even feel as invested in destroying Helen as I once was, which is surprising because I had spent fifteen years hating her guts.

I blame Garrett. He’s too nice to me and has started taking over my thoughts to the exclusion of everything else. I didn’t even know such a thing was possible. That there was a kind of happiness that overshadowed everything else in life.

Once before, that would’ve scared the hell out of me, but for some reason, even though being in love scares me a little bit, I find myself trusting him, not because of anything I’d had him sign but because of this deep-rooted feeling that he and I were on the same page when it came to being human and not a piece of shit who was willing to destroy another person just to get laid.

He doesn’t know it, but I’ve been watching his every move. I watch the way he is with me, making sure that he’s not just going through the motions to get what he wants before moving on. Not for nothing, but the fact that he had stayed with someone for eight years is a two-edged sword.

For one, it proves that he can be faithful even with someone he wasn’t deeply in love with. And on that same token, he was able to stay that long with someone he wasn’t in love with. I know it makes me sound like a needy bitch, but I’ve grilled him up one side and down the other about his true feelings for me.

I’d hate to be in love with him the way I have come to accept that I am, only to learn somewhere down the line that he’s just tolerating me because he’s too lazy or doesn’t care enough to go looking for someone he genuinely loves.

I’m pretty sure that that’s part of Natalie’s issue with our marriage. Like he tried to explain, she must have been feeling hurt because he’d married me in such a rush when she had held out for eight years with nothing to show for it.

I think I’d have felt the same way if I had been in her shoes, so that’s not my problem with her. That comes from the things she had said about me. Had she been just a friend looking out for an old friend, I could have let it slide, but she went in on me and tried to get him to see me as some nonentity that was after his money.

So, now that Helen and Mitzie had been dealt with, I turned my focus to her because Lacey and Denny were busy canceling each other out. The way those two have been going after each other, there won’t be anything left for me.

I know that Denny must be losing his shit because of everything that has happened in the last few weeks, especially since I ghosted him without a word; his ego won’t handle that well, and that’s what I’m banking on.

I guess he never took the time to know me the way I know him, but then again, people always think of others and what they know of themselves, so he probably thought I was as weak and full of shit as him.

Some jackasses in the old group chat, high off their ass, maybe, were bemoaning the fact that I didn’t even give him a chance to explain and saying how cold I was for that. Uh, what is there to explain? I saw with my own eyes, no explanations necessary. I guess next, they’d be saying I need to apologize. Then I’d get mad enough to run them over with my car if I saw them on the street.

Thankfully, there were only one or two people with that stupid ideology, and they’re not people I like anyway, so I just told them to get fucked in the chat. This started a war of words, and the girlies had my back.

Apparently, ghosting someone without giving them a chance to defend themselves is childish, but what I see are other cheats trying to make themselves feel better about their shitty behavior. Now they’re in the comments fighting for their lives because, apparently, their partners don’t take too kindly to their take on things.

Or it could be the fact that I exposed some of their past deeds and told them I was ready to discuss those whenever they were. I won’t be hearing from them again.

I had about thirty missed calls from Dad, two each from the brothers with as many voicemails. The boys know me well enough to know that nothing will move me from my position, but Mom was being a pain.

I simply sent her a short and sweet message, ‘You can be not my Mom as well if you’d like.’ She’s mad because I told Corbin he wasn’t my Dad. I guess she thinks I’m disowning him; I’m just trying to get it through his head that a real Dad would not have done the things he did.

He's still stuck on thinking he was right, that he was just trying to save me from whoever Helen was going to hire. And I still want to know about the minutes and seconds leading up to the first time he fucked her and cheated on my Mom and our family. Until he is ready to tell me these things, we’re done.

I’m not forgiving him to ease his guilt; I hope it chokes him in his sleep. Mom thinks my attitude is going to put a strain on things because, apparently, he’s been staying with her, but I reminded her that I can be there and not say one word to him, and we’ll all be fine.

I did tell her where Helen was staying since they didn’t know, and Dad wanted to serve her with divorce papers. He’s under the impression that she stole his money and destroyed his house out of anger, and I’m not about to tell him any different. That was my plan all along.

Now, his friends are telling him about her affairs because their wives read about them on the community forum, which, along with the information I just sent him, should be enough to help him keep his precious money that she was after all along. If the judge even thinks of giving her a penny, I’ll take it all. She will not profit from my mother’s trauma.

CORBIN

“I fucked up, I really fucked up. She’s not answering.”

“Give her some time; she’s just hurt.”

“I know, and I know she has a right to be, but it still hurts. I thought we were doing the right thing, shielding her from things, but it seems like she can’t get past the affair.”

I had most of my life back, but my little girl was the last holdout, and the way things were looking, she wasn’t planning on forgiving me anytime soon. It hurts like hell, even more than when she was a kid, and I had to watch her be unhappy when I was playing house with someone else.

Everyone seems to think that after an affair, life becomes rosy, but nothing can be further from the truth. I regretted my mistake immediately, and I never once thought for a second that the repercussions would be this long-lasting.

I want the chance to talk to my kid and explain these things to her, but she doesn’t want to hear them. That message she sent had gutted me, and I’d cried while her mother held me and tried to offer comfort, but I think we both know that until the day Alyssa forgives me, I’m going to carry this burden.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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