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Each barb was intentional, and no one would ever know that she was sending a message. She switched her attention back to Alyssa and left me out of it, for which I was entirely grateful, and I watched my wife endear herself to a room full of people while throwing darts at one particular person.
They wrapped things up in another half hour, and she looked very pleased with herself. I wonder if she realized that that crack she made about kids playing with boxes instead of shiny toys was going to piss off all the women that had come before her. Knowing her, she was depending on it.
ALYSSA
“That went well, I think.”
“Yeah, yeah, don’t rest on your laurels here.” I passed him the half volume of papers I’d printed out earlier. I’m a very organized person, and like I said, I wanted to get all the unpleasantness out of the way before we returned home to our new lives.
“What’s this?”
“Read it!” I’d written out my terms of engagement for this marriage deal because I don’t like surprises. There were instructions on my wants and needs, especially pertaining to children.
This man, with his old ass, is hellbent on getting me pregnant or breeding me, as he puts it, as soon as possible, and I’m not sure he hasn’t already achieved his goal. And so that I don’t end up in prison with him pushing up daisies, this is the way to go.
I like to be fair and give people all the information they could possibly need because I hate hearing ‘I didn’t know.’ This way, when my comeback is, ‘What the fuck didn’t you know?’ I will have proof that I spelled it all out.
I’m not about to bring a child into this world to suffer the same way I did, so I spelled out the stipulations that suit me. It all leads back to one thing, you cheat, you die, you hurt my kids, you die, you make me feel less than you die. Simple and to the point. Even a red-assed baboon could understand it.
“You know, life is just a vicious cycle filled with people who spend their days hurting each other. If you connect the dots of all mankind, there’s a cheat, a murderer, a liar, and an asshole in every link. Hey, that sounds like the beginning of a joke.”
I have no idea why I’m rambling, but I think it might have something to do with the way he’s looking at me after perusing the first page of the tome I’d given him to read. I ignored him and went to grab my phone.
That magazine shoot was going to take a few days before being published, but there’s no reason I can’t leak some of the photos we’d taken. His little sister is just as petty as I am, so I know my girl would know what to do with them.
And since she and her Mom had already figured out that Natalie was the fly in my ointment, I was sure that little wretch would make sure those images got back to the right circles. If I wasn’t me, I’d want to be me.
I did my thing, choosing the best images and sent a little snippet of the interview along as well, especially the part pertaining to the family and my work was done. At least as far as his bitch ex was concerned. I still have other assholes to annihilate.
I’d done some snooping of my own and had already sent the messages between her and Garrett to my phone. Since there was a child involved, I was holding off on the nuclear option, but if she doesn’t get her shit together, I will send it all to her husband and let the chips fall.
I made up my mind a long time ago never to let anyone walk over me, no matter who the hell they are, and I’m not about to let some snooty bitch infringe on my life. I wasn’t there eight years ago, and I wasn’t the one that didn’t want to marry her lacking ass, don’t blame me for other people’s shit.
I maybe shouldn’t have made that crack about getting too comfortable in old shoes and looking for a new pair because she’s a woman like me, but she started this war; I’m just defending my flank.
Look, I don’t start shit, never did, but I go for the jugular because I don’t like drawn-out war. Too costly and too time-consuming. Both of which I am very short on. I don’t know how the hell I keep racking up enemies left and right.
There was a new message from my new bestie, Jackie, informing me that Helen was going to be kept for observation overnight, which meant it was time to deal with her kid. My eight-year-old heart woke up, stretched, and yawned. As the Koreans say, ‘fighting.’
“Look, here comes the consequence- consequence- consequence- consequences of my actions chasing me right now.”
“What are you up to, Alyssa?”
“Why are you in my business?”
I sent off a text to Jackie. ‘Bail her out.’ “Look, here comes the consequence-lalala-lalala, hmmm hmmm hmmmm.” I sat back and rubbed my hands together, then got up to change out of the kickass Chanel suit my hubby had bought me.
I think this bastard had someone comb through my Pinterest boards because most of the things he’d bought and had packed for me to bring, I’m pretty sure could be found there. I’m not sure if to be impressed with his stalker ass or pull a Sleeping With the Enemy because, huh.
He hasn’t pulled any ‘no wire hangers’ yet, so I guess I’ll keep him. Now, I’m not poor by any means, but I could never shop like this. I had other things to do with my hard-earned cash, ergo the Pinterest wish boards.
“You know, I can get used to this money shit. And since certain people think I’m with you for the money, I say you should take me shopping. Gas up the jet, Fred, let’s go to Paris. I’m feeling Hermes.”
“Who the hell is Fred?”
“Flintstone, now move.”
He put the papers down and got to his feet to get his phone. I was only half joking, but this is the life. I sent off some pictures from the shoot we just did to the friend group where I had been exposing Denny and Lacey and called it a day.
