AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Is that why you were in the hospital that time when Mattie called me to say you were sick?”
“Yes.” I feel like a huge weight has been finally lifted off my chest. I’ve been walking around with the guilt and sadness from that day for way too long.
“Oh my God, I need to hold you right now.” Mom is crying so hard. “I am so sorry, baby.”
I don’t really have many words to make her feel better about the bad things that happened to me.
“It just wasn’t meant to be, Mom,” I whisper into the phone.
“I will never forgive myself for how I was with you then,” she hiccups into the speaker. “I love you. Please know that.”
“I know, Mom,” I smile at hearing her words. I am so happy to have repaired things with her. She used to be my rock in everything. I missed her for all the years when I resented her for my breakup with Zach.
In the end, I had to take responsibility for it as well. I could’ve just walked away from my parents and stayed with Zach. But I felt too insecure in our feelings for each other. Deep down, I guess I wanted to take the easy road out. It turned out to be the most treacherous one as well.
“Happy anniversary,” Mom sniffles out once she’s calmed down a bit.
“You remembered?” People don’t usually keep track of others’ half anniversaries.
“I’m really happy for you, Slayer.” Mom doesn’t normally use Dad’s nickname for me. She always thought it sounded too primitive and savage for her little girl. Hearing it from her now is making me smile.
“I miss you,” I blurt out. “Maybe I can come visit in a couple of weeks.”
“Yes,” her eager tone leaves no room for wondering if she’d like to see me. “I can always come to you, too! Like before!”
“I’ll talk to Zach and work something out, okay?”
With that, we hang up. I remain seated on the couch in the living room. There is a beautiful view of New York spread right in front of me. When I lived in my small apartment in the city, I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I’d someday be able to sit in my living room and stare right at the top of the Empire State Building.
Thinking that one of us needs to step up at some point, I decide to do something special for Zach today. I feel like this will either make us or break us. But I can’t live in this limbo anymore.
With that in mind, I start cleaning the condo from top to bottom. He has a housekeeper, but she hasn’t been coming in as often since I am here all the time. There’s not that much to do, but it makes me feel better about myself when I am done and look around at everything.
I check the time and see it’s getting close to the time when Zach normally gets home. I hurry up and place an order for his favorite dishes from the Italian restaurant around the corner from our building.
I rush to take a shower and wash my hair, taking some extra time when picking the clothes I want to wear. I then put some light makeup on, knowing that Zach doesn’t like it when I have too much on, and style my hair in easy waves.
“Pretty damn good,” I say to myself when I look in the full length mirror in the huge closet.
By the time I am done with all that, the doorman calls to let me know that the food is here. I hurry up and grab some cash for the tip, then wait for the delivery person to get up here. I grab the bags from him, then check the time. I only have ten minutes left.
Taking the food out of the containers, I place it all on the large platters I took our earlier, then put them on the fancy dining room table. I light the two candles in the middle, then wait.
When it’s about fifteen minutes past the time I was expecting Zach to walk through the door, I move into the sitting area that faces the foyer. I’ll be the first thing he sees when he walks in, I think to myself.
I am so pumped up right now, nothing can ruin this for me. I go through different scenarios in my head, plotting on how the conversation should go. Either way, I am not staying past tonight if he continues with his current behavior. I think I have paid enough for my sins from seven years ago. Time to get my backbone back.
Another thirty minutes go by, and still no Zach. Now I am getting worried. I grab my cell phone to shoot him a quick text.
Me: Hey, where are you?
I wait and watch the screen, eager to see the three dots signaling that he’s responding. Ten minutes into it, and they never come. I send another message.
Me: I got dinner waiting. How much longer are you going to be?
I tap my fingers on the armrest of the chair, my heart sinking into my stomach the longer it takes for him to respond.
Close to an hour later, I have to accept the fact that this is not happening tonight. I guess something work related had to have come up. I stand up and put the candles out. They are practically halfway melted by now, looking all sad with the wax dripping down the sticks.
