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“We hope you have a better life, one filled with happiness, but know if you ever need us, you have our card.” Diamond nods at the joker she still clutches. “We will always answer the call.” He glances around, and as one, they turn and head back upstairs.
I linger there, watching her as she stares at their retreating forms before glancing at me. There’s hope in her eyes and determination on her face as she stands up taller. “Thank you. Thank you so much. I thought I would die down here, but because of you, I get to go home. Thank you.”
I simply nod, and she hurries past me. She hesitates by the body of the man who hurt her, and with a wide grin, she kicks his head, watching it splatter against the wall before she spits on his body and steps over him. “Rot in hell. I’m going to live, you asshole.” With that, she hurries upstairs, leaving me alone with my thoughts before there’s a honk from outside.
Time to go back to cirque.
As I head back to the guys, my worries follow me.
The call has disappeared, but my heart is in an entirely new vise. Can I do this?
Can I become a nightmare?
A villain?
Chapter
Eighteen
The drive back is silent. No one looks at me, and I shrink into my seat. My heart pulls me one way, my soul another. I’m trapped, struggling under the mask the whole way back until we pull up before the cirque. The engine turns off, and we’re plunged into silence.
Despite the car being parked, none of them get out until Diamond looks at me in the rearview mirror. “I’m giving you one last chance, Ember. One last out despite the fact that you swore an oath. If you leave now, we won’t chase you. We will let you go. It’s your choice to make, but if you step back into cirque, you’ve chosen it and us. You’ve been shown this life knowing what it entails.” With those words hanging in the air between us, he gets out of the car, and the others follow, heading into cirque like four phantoms. They leave me in the car, my heart racing as I climb out and hesitate.
They are giving me another chance, another out, but why?
I glance up at cirque and see them waiting at its perimeter, hidden between the tents, watching. What will happen if I leave? I swore an oath. As I turn to glance down the road that will take me away from here, I can’t force myself to move.
There could be another life out there for me. I could be happy again. Maybe remarry and get a job. I could be normal, but deep down, I know I would never settle. I’d never fully trust it.
How could I go back to a world without the magic of Cirque Obscurum?
I glance back at the tent and the four men waiting there, curious as to what I will do.
As I look between my two choices, my thoughts circle back to the lady from earlier. She thanked us. We killed. We’re murderers, yet she thanked us. When they came for me, I was so relieved I would have given my soul for the safety and redemption I found in their company. I can’t go back on that now just because I’m having second thoughts, my morality in question. I’ve seen the worst this world has to offer. Do I truly wish to go back and pretend I haven’t. Can I?
Or do I become a monster, a nightmare like them?
Do I take back my power that was stolen, or do I fade into this world?
No.
I don’t want to be a victim anymore. I lived my entire life for the whims and wants of others. I want to live for me now, even if that darkness scares me and makes me feel like a bad person. I turn back to cirque, my decision made.
I want to be the queen I was named after.
I want to save those who need us like they saved me.
I want to make them all pay for hurting weaker people.
I know this time, my choice is final. I’ll hand my soul over and become what the cirque wants. As I take a stumbling step toward the bright lights, those four masks morph into welcoming smiles, all of their hands rising to welcome me home.
They wait as I head their way, and once I’m back inside the circus, I take Diamond’s outstretched hand. He twines his fingers with mine and leads me through the tents, the others falling into step behind us. Looking up at him, I can’t help but smile, and as his masked face turns and looks down at me, I know he’s smiling too.
He’s proud of me, which shouldn’t warm me but it does.
I didn’t even notice the cut on Diamond’s arm until the light filters across the wound. My eyes widen, and I push up my mask. “You’re hurt.”
He glances down as we stop before my tent. “He attacked when we entered. It’ll just need to be cleaned and stitched.” Keeping his hand in mine, I tug him inside after me, and he grunts but relents. I push him down to sit on my bed.
