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“You got tickets to the World Series?” I ask in disbelief.
“Yeah. Pretty sweet. So anyway, my old pal Carlos moved to Philly a few years back, and he was supposed to come with me, but now he can’t.”
Oh my god, is he going to ask me to go with him? He’s the one who got me into baseball as a kid. My inner child tenses waiting for him to continue.
“Oh yeah?” I ask.
“Sold his ticket online and got a pretty penny back.”
I deflate. “Oh.”
“Anyway, thought since I was going to be in your neighborhood, we could see each other. Maybe grab lunch,” he says casually, which throws me off.
“You don’t wanna stay with me? I have a guest room.” Can he hear the desperation in my voice?
“Nah, nah. That’s okay. I don’t wanna bug you. I got a hotel anyway.”
“Papá, you won’t be bugging me. I haven’t seen you in…years,” I admit, feeling like an ass for even bringing up the fact that I haven’t made a better effort to visit him.
“That’s why we’re going to have lunch, mijo. I’ll send you my flight details tomorrow, yes?”
Unsettled, I sigh. “Yes.”
“Good. I’m excited to see you. I gotta go now. I’ll see you next week,” he says in that persuasive tone he’s always had.
“Okay. Adios, Papá.”
The call ends and for the first time ever, the weight of the missing te amo feels fitting. I don’t expect him to tell me he loves me. I didn’t realize until college that his love was conditional. I’ve heard him say it to his friends and relatives in a jovial way, and that’s how he’s always said it to me. It’s always been after I’ve done something he’s proud of.
A big part of me is thrilled he’s coming though. So what if I can’t go to the World Series with him? That’s fine. It’s not like I can just get a ticket for one of the most anticipated games of the year. Maybe with his visit we can weave our relationship back together and we’ll start seeing each other more often because of it. Yeah.
I can turn this around; and if I can make this work with him, maybe there’s a chance I can make this work with Angie.
If only I could figure out what this is.
1. Mr. Brightside by The Killers
Chapter 32
October 7th
Rafael
When I get to the office Monday morning, I’m no less at ease than I have been all weekend. Angie didn’t come home last night like I was hoping. She sent me a text a couple hours after I hung up with my father saying she was going to stay a few more nights at Cora’s.
After typing out and deleting several drafts, I reluctantly settled on:
Ok. I’m ready to talk when you are.
And yeah, I wanted to hug her after sending it, and in turn, made me upset realizing hugs might be coming to an end. If I’m honest with myself, I know I’d want to add a kiss to the top of her crown and maybe get a little whiff of her shampoo while I’m at it.
God, I miss her.
I’m trying to play it cool at work, but I’m dying to talk to Cora and Jay. I’m sure they know everything, and I would do anything to hear the smallest scrap of intel.
I only make it to 11:00 am before I’m knocking on her open office door.
“Hey, Raf,” Cora says casually, like she doesn’t hold all the secrets. Wordlessly, I close the door behind me and let the meaning sink in. “Okay,” she says with a wan smile making me feel infinitely worse.
