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I slide my eyes toward him listlessly before bursting into tears.
Chapter Forty
Raúl immediately slides into bed beside me, wrapping me into his arms until my head is buried in his shoulder. “Penny, oh Penny.”
My tears stream out, a never ending torrent of heartbreak. Raúl strokes my back and holds me close, letting my emotions reign. Even to my own mind, it sounds dramatic, but it’s as if a hammer is clanging against my heart, shattering it into unrecognizable pieces.
“I’m so sorry, Penny.”
I suck in a breath and my nails dig into his ribs. “My real mother doesn’t remember me. The woman acting like my mother stole me from her. Probably with some lie. I could have grown up with all of those children. I’d have had people who loved me around all the time. I wouldn’t have ever been alone, locked in my tower, wishing I could be free. Afraid of leaving.”
Raúl’s hands pause. “Why did you never leave?”
My body trembles. “I did try, once.”
“What happened?”
I lean back until I can see into Raúl’s eyes, anchoring me to the present. My own eyes widen with remembered fear. “When I was thirteen, I tried to escape. I still remember it like it was yesterday. Night had already fallen, but I was angry with Mother because she wouldn’t let me leave.”
I take a deep breath as my body continues to shake. Shutting my eyes tight, I say, “I made it to the roof that connects on the other side of the castle. Have you seen it?”
Raúl nods and I continue. “Mother came out of the tower, roaring in anger. She was a terror. I imagine sometimes that’s what demons look like. Fire ropes burst out of her hands like strange appendages. I thought she was coming for me, but instead she sent them into the forest and dragged two vampires to the roof.”
Raúl’s hands stop completely, but I cannot stop the words from tumbling out of my mouth, my breaths coming fast. “She anchored them in place and wrapped their feet up with her ropes. She told me that as long as I was outside, her ropes would grow, burning them. I raced as fast as I could to get back inside.”
My breath hitches as my story continues. “I was too slow. My hands kept slipping on the stone when I tried climb the tower. They burned to death, disintegrating to ash. Then she told me that it was my fault they were dead. That if I ever left, I’d end up just like them. Their screams haunt my dreams.”
Raúl sits up on my bed, pulling me onto his lap. He wraps a blanket around me and rocks me back and forth until I can breathe normally. His fangs slide out and rage mars his handsome face. I wiggle a hand out and put it to his cheek. “Why are you so angry?”
“I will kill that witch.”
I shake my head and stroke my thumb across his face. “No. I don’t want you going near her. She will kill you like the others. I cannot handle that, Raúl. Please, don’t.”
He stares down at me until his fangs slide up into his mouth. “This is the second time you’ve asked me not to. I cannot promise I will listen on the third. I am much, much stronger than you think I am.” He pauses, eyebrows drawing together. “What you put out in the world comes back. One way or another, she will get her comeuppance. Even if I am the one to deliver it.”
I slide my hand down, exhausted, not wanting to argue. Raúl kisses me on the forehead. “Rest, Penny. You’re safe here, always.”
I wake up and Carmen sits on a chair next to my bed, one that hadn’t been there before. I gingerly touch my face. My eyes are sore and swollen, as are my lips, from crying. She hands me a cool cloth, and I put it over my eyes.
Carmen does not say a word, and I slip the cloth down enough to see her face. She has a sad expression as she stares at me. “Raúl told me what happened.”
I groan and move the cloth back. It isn’t as if I specifically told Raúl to keep it a secret, but I also did not expect him to tell anyone right away.
“Penny, please listen. You can keep the cloth on.”
“Okay, I’m listening.”
“Raúl told me how that witch who says she’s a mother treats you.” She pauses, tension in her voice, tone serious. “Child, I am a monster. There is no denying a fact. When I walk the streets, parents whisk their children away and lock their doors. Screams of fear follow me wherever I step.”
I tug the cloth down again to watch Carmen. She has a grimace on her face. When she sees me looking at her, her face turns determined, her eyes fierce. “I am a monster. Yet, I would never, ever, treat my child, my son, my daughter that way. How that witch treats you is wrong.”
Gripping the cloth, I study her as I sit up. “You say that. Deep down, even I know how she treated me was unacceptable. But at the end of the day, she raised me. How can I reconcile that? Still, even now, I seek her approval. Everything I do, I do because I am afraid of her or trying to please her.”
“Time,” Carmen says softly. “Time away from her, figuring out who you are without looking for her over your shoulder. Talking could help, if you’d like. I am always here to listen, and I know Raúl is, too.”
I stare out the window, letting her words wash over me. “How can talking even help? Everything that happened, happened. It’s not as if I can change it. Especially not with words.”
Carmen reaches for my hand. “Events like these have a way of seeping into your body, your very cells. Trust me, talking can help.”
