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I breathe slowly, attempting to slow my pounding heart, forcing myself not to edge closer to the door.
God, I wish I weren’t so fucked up.
Just get through today and you can end this dating nonsense.
I take another deep breath. “That sounds interesting.” It’s a lousy reply, but at least I’m talking instead of shutting down.
He nods. “Music is part of our souls. You said you sometimes use music to alter your mood. That’s the basis of sound meditation. Different sound waves affect different kinds of brain waves. Altering your brain waves has the power to change your mood, moving you from a hyperalert state to a calm one.”
I take one step backwards without moving closer to the door, focusing on the conversation. “I’ve tried meditating, but I can’t do the whole ‘quiet your mind’ thing. My brain won’t shut up.”
He grins. “Sure it will. When do you feel peaceful? Where’s your happy place?”
“The woods. Next to a stream, sitting under a tree, surrounded by green in every direction.”
He nods. “Try meditating next time you’re in the woods. Or try it in a quiet room while listening to nature sounds. They have hundreds of looped nature audio tracks online. Water sounds are particularly calming. Find one that sounds like your stream and close your eyes. Imagine being there, and focus on the sounds. Everything else will slowly slip away.”
My stress level is decreasing as he speaks, and I breathe as he watches cautiously.
“I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable again,” he says suddenly. “It wasn’t my intent.”
I shrug. “I apologize for being so sensitive.”
He studies me carefully. “Maybe someday you’ll feel comfortable enough to tell me what happened. Why you’re skittish around me.”
“It’s not just you.” I look down at the warm wood flooring, the planks wide and comfortably worn from years of use. “It’s men in general. I’m working on it.”
I hear thudding sounds above my head just before Avery and Addison scamper down the stairs and stop beside us. They’re still dressed identically, this time in denim shorts and hot pink shirts. One of them tugs on Blake’s hand. “We changed and washed up. How long until dinner? I’m hungry.” I study her fingernails. They’re unpainted. Avery.
Blake’s eyes remain riveted on me. “Go find a movie, and when everyone decides what they want to eat, I’ll call in the takeout order.”
A heated discussion ensues between the girls over sweet and sour chicken versus sweet sticky ribs. When they’ve gone into the living room to pick a movie, I take a deep breath. “Maybe I should go.”
He tilts his head. “Please stay. I’ll try not to say the wrong thing again.”
I shake my head. “That’s not it. You shouldn’t have to weigh every word you say before it comes out of your mouth.”
He snorts. “People do that all the time.”
“They shouldn’t have to.”
He raises an eyebrow. “That’s how society functions. Men don’t call their bosses idiots. Women don’t tell each other if an outfit looks terrible on them.” He studies me. “The girl at the cupcake shop irritated me. She could see you were there with me. For all she knew, we were a married couple there with our daughters, but she kept flirting. Rather than tell her she was being rude, I laughed and changed the subject.”
He changed the subject? “I wasn’t listening,” I admitted. “Once she started hitting on you, I tuned out.”
His brows pull together. “Why?”
“Because she’s more your type. Personality-wise, at least. Someone who’s comfortable with innuendos and double entendres.”
Someone not like me.
I don’t say it, but he hears my implication. He steps toward me, then stops, rubbing his hand through his hair, making it stick up. “I don’t flirt with other women when I’m on a date, Charlie. I may have earned my reputation as a player, but I respect the woman I’m with. Watching what I say to avoid upsetting you doesn’t mean I’m not being myself. It means I’m trying to respect your boundaries.” He watches me, his eyes softening. “Please stay for dinner.”
Something in his steel-blue eyes sets off a herd of butterflies in my stomach.
Butterflies are definitely new.
I nod. “Alright.” He smiles slowly, watching me beneath long lashes. My butterflies spiral wildly under his warm gaze.
