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“Come on, don’t look so shocked. It’s okay, Penny. I understand I don’t like it, but I understand. Honestly.”
As I gaze into his eyes, I see sincerity there, and I hug him briefly.
“You’re amazing, Andrew. Someday, someone is going to be so very lucky to call you husband.”
“One day. Take care of yourself. Okay?” He stares at me pointedly. “This doesn’t mean we are friends. But I wish you the best.”
Tears prick my eyes, and I find it difficult to swallow. “I wish you the best, too. No one deserves it more.”
We don’t hug this time. Instead, Andrew gives me a small smile before turning and walking away. I stay frozen in position, itching to turn around and find Liam, but out of respect for Andrew, I urge myself to wait.
When Andrew reaches the other side of the field, he pauses and turns to me. He’s too far away for me to decipher his facial expression, but the tension between us carries a bit of regret and forgiveness. I wave, and after a brief hesitation, he waves back and disappears from view.
I wait another moment before letting my gaze roam the field for Liam’s familiar face, but I don’t see him. I start to panic. I’m crushed by the overwhelming need to speak to him, and I don’t want to wait any longer. I make my feet move as I rush to find him.
Chapter 26
Liam
“Tex, go play.” I rub his side affectionately. He licks my hand and nibbles the hem of my jeans again. I groan. This dog of mine is way too in tune with my emotions, but it’s also why he’s good at his job. “I’m fine, boy. I just need a break, okay?”
Instead, Tex whimpers and lays down at my feet, his soft eyes on me. I sigh and continue to scratch his head.
When we first got here, he only wanted to run around and play, which he did for a while. But as my mood shifted, he returned to me and lay at my feet. I’ve tried convincing him to play, and I even got up to encourage him, but he refuses to budge.
My heart is cracking like fragile glass, splintering into a thousand pieces with each painful beat. I don’t want to jump to conclusions from what I saw, but I couldn’t help but notice how comfortable they looked with each other.
She looked at him with a softness that I crave. Does she ever look at me that way? The doubt that fills me is overwhelming. I’m full of baggage, full of stress, full of trauma. Right now, I don’t feel like the man I’ve worked to be; I feel broken.
Liam, you’re jumping to conclusions without even having a single conversation.
That rational thought is buried by the other thoughts bombarding me, and once my mind starts going, I can’t stop it. An image of her with Andrew flashes in my head again, and the crack in my heart splinters even more.
Penny deserves the type of man Andrew is, not someone like me.
Just like that, all the lessons I’ve learned from working with my therapist disappear into thin air. It’s useless! Andrew doesn’t need therapy. Andrew doesn’t have flashbacks from combat. Andrew doesn’t suffer panic attacks and nerve-wracking anxiety.
Tex jumps up on the bench and lays across my lap; his weight is like a comforting blanket that helps to ground me as my doubts threaten to drown me. Will I ever feel good enough? I used to be enough. I thought Penny and I would grow old together, raise our kids, and be a family. How did we get so unlucky?
I hear footsteps behind me and then a voice I would recognize anywhere.
“Liam!”
I freeze, the hairs on my body standing at attention as Penny’s voice washes over me. Tex shimmies off of my lap and runs over to her.
“Tex! How are you, handsome man?”
I turn slightly in my seat to see Penny a few feet away, petting Tex, who is lying on his back, begging for belly rubs. My heart swells, and I take in her appearance. It’s funny how earlier, I didn’t really register how she looked, only the expression on her face. As always, Penny’s beauty puts the setting sun to shame. She’s perfect—otherworldly, ever a reminder that something so exquisite deserves an equally perfect partner.
Penny looks up then, catching my eye, and a small smile lights her face. “Hey.”
I push past the lump in my throat and respond. “Hi.”
She stops petting Tex and strolls toward me, the smile still on her face. There’s a tension in the air between us, but I know that’s just me, so I try to shove it into an abyss with all my other gloomy emotions. Penny sits on the bench beside me, and Tex jumps up on her lap. She giggles and scratches a spot between his ears.
“How did you know I was here?”
“I saw you when I was in the other park,” she answers. “Did you see me?”
