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I meet Penny’s gaze, and my heart picks up pace. The air around us crackles with electricity, and my eyes fall to her lips. The silence around us intensifies, broken only by Tex’s restless panting.
It won’t hurt if I just lean down and claim that kiss that’s been at the back of my thoughts since I came upon Penny. I push myself to my feet. My thoughts take me by surprise, and I know that if we don’t leave, I will give in to the kiss I want more than my next breath.
“We should go,” I say abruptly.
“Everything okay?” She asks, narrowing her eyes.
“Yes. I’m just worried about Tex. His panting is getting heavier.”
Smiling, she rises. “Okay.”
I don’t trust myself around her and am eager to get away. “I’m only worried about Tex. I know if—”
“Liam, it’s okay,” Penny says, glancing worriedly at Tex. “Let’s head back.”
Chapter 12
Penny
In the silence of the evening, the squeaking noise of the swing can be easily heard as I sway slowly back and forth. I’m at my mom’s house, and although I’ve been trying to see her as little as possible since I turned into a runaway bride, tonight the last thing I wanted was to be alone with all the thoughts rattling around in my head.
Liam is ever present in my thoughts, but tonight the memory of us almost kissing has every cell of my body unsettled. He wants me as much as I want him, but he’s holding back. I understand why but it’s still hard.
It’s crazy how after all of this time, Liam still feels like home to me. Who knows where we would be if I hadn’t broken up with him over his enlistment into the Army? I blamed him for so long in spite of how important he told me it was to him. Should I have? I know at the time it was always easier to blame Liam, but looking back, I’m not sure.
When Liam told me about his enlistment, my father’s death was still too fresh, too traumatizing, for me to understand his need to take up the same cause. I was so afraid that another man I loved was about to be ripped away from me. Ultimately, death didn’t rip Liam away like my father, but the end of our relationship was equally as painful. Letting him go is my greatest regret.
Movement in the distance catches my eyes, and I stop swinging to look beside me. Stacy is walking down the porch toward me.
“Why are you still awake?” I ask when she settles onto the seat next to me. “You have to be at the shop early tomorrow.”
“Yes.” She nods, yawning. “I was about to go to bed when I heard you swinging. Why aren’t you coming in? It’s late.”
I sigh. “I don’t know. I guess I’m not ready to go to bed yet.”
I glance at my sister, and her blue eyes warm mine. Even though she’s been hard on me since I ran out on my wedding day, she’s always been there for me despite our differences.
“You’re not happy,” Stacy whispers. “I can see it in your eyes.”
I blink and nervously chuckle. “I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not,” she says. “What’s wrong?”
I have an overwhelming urge to spill all my worries and have her comfort me, but I’m still not sure I’m ready.
“Something’s been bothering you,” Stacy continues. “Why won’t you tell me?”
My smile is strained. “Because I hate to bother you.”
“It’s no bother. You’re my sister. I love you. And I want you to be happy.”
I nod, feeling my throat tighten and tears burn my eyes. “I know you’re disappointed about the wedding. I’m so sorry for everything that happened. The embarrassment, the disappointment, everything.” Tears spill from my eyes. “Forgive me.”
“Penny.” Stacy puts her arm over my shoulder. “You have to start by forgiving yourself. You know I love Andrew, but you were the one who would be married to him. What you did stunk timing wise, but it was the right decision. Especially if you’re not in love with him.”
Stacy pulls me into her arms, and her warmth helps to release a little bit of the shame I’m carrying.
“I should go to sleep,” Stacy says. “There’s somewhere I have to be tomorrow.”
