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His face darkens. Then he steps back. “Seriously? Are you for real? I don’t make a habit of sleeping with princesses from other clubs, darlin’. I thought what we had was—” He breaks off and rubs a hand over his shaved head before his hands interlace at the back of his neck. “Fuck,” he grumbles. “Why’d you run out on me, Kenz?”
I type my answer into the phone.
“You know why.”
“Because you’re a Saxon and I’m a Devil?”
I nod. “Us being together could cause problems for my family. I won’t do that.”
He scowls. “Part of me doesn’t give a fuck about that. We had this amazing connection, babe, you can’t deny it, but part of me knows you’re right.” He stares at me for a beat. “So, what do we do here?”
I mouth the word ‘friends’ at him, a word that seems completely inadequate for what we are.
He must agree, because he laughs.
“Sweetheart, I’ve never fucked a friend the way I fucked you.”
Heat pools between my legs at his filthy words. I can’t stop myself from reaching out, from grabbing his hand. He’s so much bigger than I am and his hand swallows mine.
When he raises his eyes from our joined hands to my face, I see burning desire there, a lust that should scare me, but doesn’t. I want him. I want to take his mouth now, to get lost in him, but I’m scared if I go there, I won’t be able to walk away from him. And that cannot be. I can’t fall for a Devil’s Dog. I can’t fall for a biker, period. This isn’t the life I want, nor is it the life I need. I want safety. I want a world where I’m not looking over my shoulder, fearing the worst. I want a life separate from the horrors and traumas my friends have been through. I want a life I don’t have to hide, and with Dane we’d forever be in the shadows.
I close my eyes, needing a minute to recalibrate and his mouth is suddenly on mine. I should pull away. We’re standing not far from the doorway, where anyone can see us, but I can’t. I won’t reject him again, even if I should. Being together condemns us both. We’ll forever be straddling the line between loyalty to family and loyalty to each other.
I let him take my mouth and devour me like the last meal of a man on death row. His fingers slip through my hair to grasp the back of my neck and I can’t help but pant. He feels amazing and I want him to touch that ache at the apex of my thighs, but his hands roam in safer areas.
When he licks along the seam of my mouth, I grant him access immediately. My body is reacting, remembering what we did the night of Logan’s wedding, how he made me make noises I didn’t know I could make—noises I’ve never made before. I had no idea there were so many ways to pant. It was music to my ears to hear myself, even if it was just my breaths coming out in rapid succession and not my voice, which I’ll never hear, which he’ll never hear.
“You’re like a drug to me,” he sounds breathless as he pushes the words out. His hand is still collaring the back of my neck, his forehead pressed to mine in a way that feels incredibly intimate. “The more I taste, the more I want.”
I want him too, and I wish I could tell him that. I show him the only way I can—by pressing my mouth to his and taking him a lot more gently than he took me. I want to take all his clothes off and re-explore every inch of his body, but I can’t. Not here. Not now. Not ever. This kiss is a final goodbye. It has to be.
When he pulls back, it seems as if he senses this himself.
“I don’t want to let you go.”
I give him a look I hope translates into how much I hate this, while saying he has to. This can’t happen again. Once was a mistake, twice is pushing our luck.
Purposely, I step back from him and lean against the railing.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
I nod. I am too.
He mutters a curse under his breath and tears off back inside. I duck my head, trying not to cry. In another life, another place, we could be together, but in this one, there’s no way our relationship would weather the storm, and the Lost Saxons have a large one brewing.
“It’s a bad idea.”
Slade’s voice startles me. I spin around and see him step out from behind the corner of the loading bay. My heart pounds. We were seen.
Crap.
I raise my hands and quickly sign, “It’s over.”
“It needs to be. He’s good people, but Dane isn’t one of us, Kenzie. When loyalties are tested, you’ll be the one who gets hurt.”
Considering I had the same thought myself, I can’t be angry at him for pointing this out.
“I know.”
“End it, and end it now, before anyone else finds out what shit you’re pulling. Got it?”
I nod slowly, knowing I have no choice anyway.
“Good.” He moves over to me and kisses my cheek. When he pulls back he smiles down at me. “I’m only looking out for you, kid. You know that, right?”
I nod again, not entirely sure whose interest he’s looking out for, me or the Club.
He is right about one thing, though. Dane and I can’t be.
