Page 41 of Finding Atonement


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Jared

I’m nervous as hell about taking Nia to dinner. My gut churns as I get dressed in a button-up, the collar open and a pair of dark stonewash jeans with my boots. I thought about getting more dressed up, but that’s not me, and I figure it’s best to be myself.

I don’t know what possessed me to ask her to dinner. This… it’s not me. I don’t ask women out, but maybe the time to let go of the past has come. I should feel weird about taking Nia out, but all I feel is peace. It’s a weird sensation. It’s been so long since I was at peace with anything. Coop keeps me grounded most of the time, keeps me putting one foot in front of the other, but this is a different kind of feeling, one I’m not sure I can explain. I just know when I’m with her my world slows down. It feels complete. I feel complete.

I push down the guilt at having this thought. Maybe I should have stayed true to Robyn, but I need more than just my son. I love him with everything I have, but I’m not a man designed to be alone. My emotions war with me, and eventually, I silence them by assuring myself it’s dinner, not a marriage proposal.

I drive over to the address Nia gave me earlier. She lives in a nice part of town, although her building looks like it needs a little maintenance. It’s a small apartment block with a well-developed garden surrounding the property and a little parking lot to the side of it. The light cladding to the building makes it look fresh and bright.

A sudden swell of pride rolls through me. She survived her ex and built herself a good life here. Not many people would have the tenacity, the strength to do that.

I pull into an empty space and cut the engine. Then I climb out of the car and start for the front door of the apartment block. There’s a number of buzzers on the wall outside and I find the one for Nia, pushing the button.

After a moment, a breathless sounding Nia answers with an “I’ll be right down.”

Before I can reply, she’s gone.

I move to the low wall at the side of the building and perch against it while I wait for Nia. It feels like it takes an age. In fact, I wait so long, I consider pushing the button again, but just as I’m contemplating this the apartment’s main door opens and she steps out.

And I have to pick my jaw up off the floor. She looks amazing. She’s wearing a soft summer dress in light blue and a pair of wedges that accentuate her legs. I shouldn’t stare, but I can’t help but gawk at her.

She shifts and asks a little nervously, “Am I overdressed?”

Finally, finding my voice, I shake my head. “Not at all. You look gorgeous.”

Her head ducks, but I see the smile grace her lips, and it only adds to her beauty.

“Shall we?”

She nods and we walk slowly to the car.

“Where are we going tonight?” Nia asks.

“A small restaurant in town that I like to frequent more than is healthy. Even Coop loves it.”

“Where is Cooper tonight?”

“At my mom’s.”

“Did you tell her about… this?”

We reach the car and I push the central locking button. “Yeah, because I wanted to sit through nine hours of interrogation.” I snort. “I’ll tell her when I pick Coop up in the morning.”

I add this because I don’t want her to think she’s some dirty little secret I’m keeping from my family. I’m not, but I wasn’t lying when I said my mom would have interrogated me. I wanted to be on time for our date.

She smiles as she climbs into the car, and I get in too.

I start the engine and begin the drive to the restaurant. “Have you heard anything more from the police about the break-in at your store?”

Her lips pull together, and I wish I hadn’t brought it up. I worry about her being over there on her own all day.

“Not yet. They don’t seem to think investigating it is a high priority.” She rolls her eyes.

“Have you spoken to Thomas?”

A frown plays across her face. “You really think he was behind it?”

“You don’t?”

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