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There are even more curtain twitchers staring down on us as we load my things into the car. I have tears welling as I see how carefully he treats my belongings, not breaking a sweat or rushing.
I’m all set to jump into the back seat of the taxi and speed away, but something holds me back. A pull I can’t ignore.
“Can I take one minute to say goodbye to this place?”
“Of course.” Josh says. “Take as many minutes as you need.”
Ok. One last time for me.
I walk back into the house and upstairs on trembling legs, surprisingly emotional as I reach my old bedroom door. I step into the room, empty and bare, so similar to how it was when we arrived here. I remember Connor’s cheer at the fact we were here in the city, and the vigour in how he slung his suitcase on the floor, spinning around like we were in a mansion, not a dive.
I can see the smile on his face. I remember the joy I felt at seeing his. The belief, the hope, the excitement.
And now it’s all over. The dreams that morphed into nightmares.
It’s me alone, saying goodbye to this place, no more Connor at my side, and I never want to see him again. Not for the rest of my life. The very thought gives me shudders.
Good fucking riddance.
Josh is waiting for me with a smile on his face as I get downstairs and finally shut the door behind me. He’s watching me as I post my keys back through the letterbox.
He wraps an arm around my shoulders before we get in the cab together.
“You ready?” he asks.
“Sure am.”
“Time to go home,” he says. “Belgravia, here we come.”
I’m still staring at the old house through the rear window as we drive away, but my hand is in Josh’s.
My heart belongs to him now, even if his dick is going to belong to someone else tonight.
Chapter Eleven
“How are you feeling about things now?” Tiff asks me as we reach the courtyard, on our way to grab some food from the pizza house on the corner. “Come on, you know what I’m talking about. Right here, right now. How are you handling it?”
Yes, I do know what she’s talking about.
She isn’t talking about my looming Belgravia residency, or about the fact that my entire belongings are holed up in Josh’s apartment – along with me until I get the keys to my new place. She’s talking about the fact that my boyfriend is on his way to fuck someone else, right this second. A filthy bitch in her early forties, who wants his monster of a cock in every hole. My boyfriend will be coming home later, fresh out of his filthy playtime, and I’ll be there, admiring the leftovers.
I can still just about see him walking down the street away from us, dressed like a superstar, in a jet-black suit and tie. He won’t be wearing it for long, that’s for sure. He showed me his proposal earlier, and she wants a lot from him.
At least she’s paying a lot of cash for the pleasure.
There’s such a mash of emotions in my stomach, now reality has really hit me. Intrigue, jealousy, fear… lust, greed, envy. So many ‘sins’ tumbling around in my psyche.
At least I’m on the way to the pizza place. Might as well add gluttony to the list.
I wish I didn’t feel this way, but I do. Knowing Josh was an entertainer like me seemed no big deal when I was in Australia. It was so much easier via distant messaging, but now I’m here, up close and personal, and emotionally invested. It’s… different.
I choose to be honest with Tiff as well as Josh.
“It’s weird, knowing he’s going to be out tonight, fucking a woman who wants him, but that’s life and that’s our job. I guess I’ll get used to it. I mean, I do it myself, and that isn’t going to change how I feel about Josh. It’s no big deal, right?”
I love the care in her eyes.
“Hmm, on paper, no, it’s no big deal at all, but it might take some getting used to, especially since your ex fucked some little bitch behind your back and left you in the shit like an asshole. But, yeah, it’ll be ok with Josh. There’s a forum thread about this kind of thing in the Agency chat group. It’s a pretty common theme, unsurprisingly. People struggle to work through the partner situation all the time. Loads of them come out of the other side of it.”
