Page 205 of The Naughtier List


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Dad hesitates, but can’t help himself. “Whoring yourself with other people then going home and fucking your boyfriend is a lot different to picking up dogshit.”

“It’s not at all different, Ted,” Mum says, “I can see so much of you in Ella. How headstrong she is, how determined.” Mum squeezes his arm. “You know what they say. Different strokes for different folks.”

He pulls one hell of a face. “Not the best analogy.”

I can’t help myself, I have to laugh at that. Different strokes, for different folks. Perfect. I’ve got my eyes closed tight when I hear Mum’s laughter. Dad tries to give a you two, in a disapproving tone, but he breaks, and chuckles along with us. It’s such a welcome relief to the tension.

“You’re right,” Dad says, “everyone should have the courage of their convictions. Glad I taught you something.”

I use the opportunity.

“Will you meet Josh, please? Give him a chance? You’ve seen the pictures. You’ve seen the way we are together. Just, please, give him a chance to introduce himself. You can see our place. You can grill us all you want, and Josh won’t mind. He’ll answer you.”

Mum looks at Dad, but Dad is staring at his tea mug.

“Ted?” she asks. “What do you think? Shall we do it?”

“Not sure.”

“If you think he’s a prick, you can tell him,” I say. “Just give him a chance, please. That’s all I’m asking. And I really want to show you my place.”

Dad keeps staring at his tea mug.

“Ted?” Mum prompts again, but there’s no answer. She looks at me instead, and sighs. “Fine, well I’m coming. Screw it, I’ll give Josh a chance, and I want to see your place, Ells. I want to know where you’re living now.”

She gets up from her seat, and heads for her handbag. Dad stares up at her with one of those unspoken looks between them, but she shrugs.

“Up to you, Ted. You can come or not, but I’m going. Meet us later, if you want.”

I know what the answer will be. My heart is thumping as I down the rest of my tea and get to my feet. I grab my own handbag as Mum puts her coat on.

“Alright,” Dad says with a grouchy sigh, and gets up himself. “But if he’s a wanker, I’m going to tell him so, believe me.”

“Don’t worry,” I say. “I believe you.”

I fire off a message to Josh while Dad buttons up his coat.

On my way back… with Mum and Dad. I add a shocked emoji, and he replies with a grin.

I’ll be ready x

I love the walk back to the towers with my parents. The class and beauty of our surroundings is undeniable. I watch them as their eyes dart about, taking in the scene around them. The courtyard gardens have Mum stopping to admire the flowers, and Dad checks out one of the benches.

“Class,” he says, and I nod with a grin.

“Yeah, everything around here is top quality.”

Including my boyfriend.

In any normal circumstances Dad would whistle at the lobby and the elevators, they are so grand, but he just nods his approval. It’ll do for now. Mum checks herself in the elevator mirror, and she’s impressed by this place, I can tell by the look in her eyes. Who’d have ever thought it? My parents are loving my new home. Hardly a seedy brothel where I’m chained up by a pimp.

“Here we are,” I say as we walk along the hallway, and Dad puffs himself up before I open the front door. Mum squeezes his arm, in the don’t kick off way I recognise.

I swing open the door, with my heart in my throat, and Dad’s mouth actually gapes. So does Mum’s.

The memory of me stepping in here for the first time rushes back to me. Its brilliance, its opulence, its personality. And my personality is in here too now. The brocade sofa, and new trinkets along with Josh’s. It’s clearly ours, not just his.

“This is alright,” Dad says, and wanders into the kitchen, and I grin, because alright in that tone means fucking awesome.

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