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I shake my head. “No need. You’re welcome to stay, if you want to. There’s nothing I want to say to him, I wouldn’t happily say in front of you. Who knows,” I say as I click call. “I might even congratulate the prick. At least my seven years of trying to help him make it weren’t entirely for nothing.”
I expect Connor’s phone to ring to voicemail or for the call to be cancelled once he sees my name onscreen. I can’t imagine he’ll be all that keen to speak to me while he’s partying somewhere with Carly with a glass of champagne in his hand, or whatever the fuck he’s doing.
I’m wrong though, I hear the call connect within seconds. There’s a vague humdrum of voices and club sounds in the background, as I figured.
“Ella?! I was about to try you, on another number, have you heard my –”
I interrupt his flow, my voice curt and strong, all hint of hurt dried up to nothing. All that remains is rage. But I don’t shout and scream, because he doesn’t deserve the reaction. He doesn’t deserve anything from me.
“Yes, I’ve heard your song. Seems the rest of the universe has too, haven’t they? You’ve hit it pretty fucking big, from what I can gather. Such a shame your ex broke your heart by being a hooker, isn’t it? Shame you cheated on her and left her in the dirt before she did it. Oh, but you left that part out, right? What an oversight.”
The noise in the background goes quiet, and then there is silence, just his breaths. He must be stepping outside somewhere. Away from Carly, most likely.
“Can’t you see what’s happening here?” he says, and there is no arrogance in his voice, or celebratory cheer at all. It takes me right back to the days when we were young. My gut lurches because he sounds so fresh. So… in love. “I made it because of you, just like I always knew I would. Always. No matter what happened in the meantime, and all the bullshit we went through, we got the outcome we needed. Both of us.” He pauses, and I’m about to speak until he keeps going. “It’s about us again now. Together. We can live the dream. We can travel the world. We can do every single thing we ever wanted.”
“Wait, Connor –”
“You won’t need to be a hooker anymore, and I won’t need to be swanning around crappy assed clubs, trying to make contacts to climb the ladder, we can be us again. Me and you. Just like we were always meant to be.”
I’m dumbfounded by his words, trying to digest them as he carries on.
“Don’t you see? It’s fate? We spent so many years dreaming, but destiny sometimes takes a weird route, doesn’t it? Yeah, sure, we had a few years of pain, but it was worth it. It will be worth it, I swear. I swear it on my life, Ells.”
I scoff at him, because oh, how I’d have believed him, once upon a time. Part of me still does. The teenager who worshipped him and everything he ever said. But now I just laugh at the absurdity. I feel ice cold at his words.
“Twin flames, right?”
“It’s not a fucking joke. I mean it.”
I can’t help but snap at him. “You’re a prick, Connor, an absolute prick, and you can make it to the top of the whole fucking world if you like, it won’t make jack shit difference to me. Sing to the high fucking heavens that I’m a hooker, I don’t care. Just don’t tell my parents, you understand? If you’re going to grace me with one scrap of respect after all the utter hell you caused, then grace me with that. I’d rather tell them myself, thanks.”
I wait for his response, my fingers shaking around my phone. I’m so angry. Angry at him, at myself, at the way he’s going to back off like a pathetic little worm now I’ve threatened his stuck-up career.
“What the fuck? Really?” He sighs. “I don’t want to hurt your parents, Ells. Jesus. Of course I don’t. I love them, too. I love us. The only girl I ever wanted was you. Right from the start. It was always you. That never changed, and it never will. Not once. Not ever.”
My head spins with his arrogance.
“Oh, really? Better tell your girlfriend that then, don’t you think? Before you start declaring your undying love to me, yet again. Make sure you milk her of all her contacts first, though.”
“Tell Carly, you mean? Eh?” he says, sounding shocked. “I already did. You must know we’re over already.”
My blood runs cold as I look at Josh.
“What do you mean? You left her?”
“Yeah, of course I left her. I left her after seeing you at the dinner table, before I even wrote the song.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
“I still can’t believe nobody told me,” Josh says, and practically floors the accelerator as he gets us on the road towards Beaconsfield. “Mum and Dad have always been massive enforcers of the no secrets policy, but they didn’t say a fucking word.”
It’s because of me – those are the words on the tip of my tongue. Your family didn’t tell you because of me.
Josh sighs. “I thought Carly was avoiding my calls because she was being a stroppy little cow, not because she’s been bawling her eyes out at their place.”
“They must have been worried sick about her.”
“Even more reason to tell me, not keep me out of the loop.”
