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“No, this isn’t the place I was getting,” I say. “I’m still in Belgravia, though.”
They both stare at me. They’ve noted the past tense, that’s for sure.
“You heard me right,” I say. “I was getting it, but things have changed now. The other apartment is no longer available.”
“Fucking landlords are so unreliable, thinking they can change their mind whenever it bloody suits,” Dad says, shaking his head. “So, where are you, then? What’s going on?”
I take a breath.
“I’m at Josh’s place. I’ve, um, been staying here.”
Mum and Dad are both silent, looking right at me, and it’s as though they are right here in the room – their eyes digging into mine. I know I’m burning up. I know my cheeks will be pinking.
“And is this a temporary thing, or…?” Mum’s voice trails off.
“It was supposed to be.”
“Supposed to be,” Dad says, and I love the way he’s so concerned. I can feel him bristling through the screen. “This Josh guy better not be a wanker. He hasn’t got you taking over the rent or some bullshit, has he?”
I shake my head, eyes wide in horror.
“Hell, no! If anything, it’s the opposite. We haven’t even talked money, yet. He’s amazing. Honestly. Amazing.”
Off I go with the amazing, amazing, amazing.
I let my emotion show, smiling bright, certain that the butterflies in my stomach must be obvious, even across the globe.
“He’s the best ever,” I tell them. “Really, truly, hand on heart, I just can’t believe it. I can’t. After Connor, I was so busted up. I thought I was doomed. But now, with Josh. It’s like the stars were aligned. For real. I can’t wait for you to meet him. You’re going to love him.”
Dad rolls his eyes. “Don’t start up with the stars are aligned bullshit. The important thing is whether he’s a decent guy or not. The stars can get stuffed.”
“He’s more than decent, Dad. He’s the best boyfriend there could be.”
I list off a load of Josh’s virtues. Everything from how he cooks breakfast, to how he helped me clean up when I tripped over in brambles. How funny he is, how kind, how caring. How incredible his smile is. How addictive his laugh is. How secure he is when he holds me tight. How he taught me to do kettle bell swings and helped me pack all my stuff up to come here. How he chased some idiots on bikes off up the street who were insulting me.
I leave out the Jacob’s ladder bit for now, though. I’m not sure it’ll add any son-in-law points in his favour.
“He’s in PR, isn’t he? Like you?” Mum asks, and I nod.
“Yeah, he works for the same agency.”
“Hmm. Just be careful you’re not mixing work and pleasure,” she says. “That’s known to be a very deadly combination, and you don’t want to risk your new career, do you? You’re doing so well. We’re so proud of you.”
“Plus, you don’t want to be kissing like lovebirds by the bloody photocopier,” Dad says, and I have to laugh at that.
“We’re not in the nineties, Dad. We work remotely.”
“Well don’t be kissing like lovebirds on your conference calls then, ok?”
Oh, if only he knew. Josh and I kissing at work is the last thing he should be worried about.
“How is work, by the way?” Mum asks, but as usual I shirk the question with an amazing, yeah, thanks… and then I shove the conversation to the side with a virtual tour of my new home.
I’m strangely proud of how posh but eccentric it looks, both at the same time – summing up Josh so nicely. At least this way Mum and Dad get a first little glimpse at the soul of the man I’ve fallen in love with. I’m even pleased to show off his varied coffee collection, that’s how proud of his whole entire personality I am. Mum is going to love sharing a coffee with him first thing in the morning.
“We’ll have to come over when we can,” Mum says, as if reading my mind. “It will be great to see you and meet the lovely, amazing Josh. Plus, the guest room looks like a five-star resort. We’ll be spoiled.”
“Come over whenever,” I tell them. “I can book your flights whenever you want.”
