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I swallow hard, my throat tight with emotion. "I won't. I promise."
We say our goodbyes, my heart heavy with the weight of his warnings. I know he's right, know that loving Enzo is a risk, a gamble with my heart and my life.
But I can't just let it go. Can't just accept that what we had, what we shared, was nothing more than a fleeting dream. I need answers, need to know the truth of what lies in Enzo's heart.
With shaking hands, I dial his number, my breath coming in short, sharp gasps. It rings once, twice, three times. Each unanswered tone is like a knife to my gut, a twist of uncertainty and dread.
Finally, just when I'm about to give up, to let the call go to voicemail, he picks up. "Luca." His voice is rough, ragged, like he's been dragged over broken glass. "What do you want?"
I swallow hard, my throat tight with unshed tears. "I want the truth, Enzo. I want to know what last night meant to you. What I mean to you."
There's a pause, heavy with unspoken words. I can hear him breathing, the sound harsh and unsteady. "I told you," he says finally, his voice flat and emotionless. "It was a mistake. A moment of weakness. It can't happen again."
The words hit me like a blow, knocking the air from my lungs. I feel like I'm drowning, like I'm being pulled under by a riptide of pain and confusion. "I don't believe you," I whisper, my voice cracking. "I can't believe that what we shared was just a lie, a game."
He makes a sound, low and pained. "Believe what you want, Luca. But the truth is, I'm not the man you think I am. I'm not the man you deserve."
"And what about what I want?" I demand, anger and hurt warring in my chest. "What about what I feel for you, Enzo? Does that mean nothing?"
"Of course it means something," he snaps, his composure slipping. "It means everything. But that's why I have to let you go, Luca. That's why I have to push you away, before my darkness taints your light."
I squeeze my eyes shut, hot tears spilling down my cheeks. "So that's it? You're just going to walk away, pretend like we never happened?"
"I have to," he says, his voice raw with anguish. "It's the only way to keep you safe, to protect you from the world I live in."
"And what if I don't want to be safe?" I whisper, my heart in my throat. "What if I want to be with you, no matter the cost?"
There's a long, heavy silence. I can almost hear the gears turning in his head, the battle raging in his heart. "I'm sorry, Luca," he says finally, his voice thick with emotion. "But I can't give you what you want, what you need. I'm not strong enough, not brave enough."
The line goes dead, the silence echoing in my ear like a scream. I let the phone fall from my numb fingers, my body shaking with silent sobs.
It's over. He's made his choice, his decision. And it's not me, not us.
The pain is unbearable, a searing agony that rips through me like wildfire. I feel like I'm being torn apart, like my very soul is shattering into a million jagged pieces.
I can't stay here. Can't be in this place, surrounded by him. So I stumble out into the night, heart breaking, running as fast as I can, as far as I can… from him.
CHAPTER 7
ENZO
The phone feels like a lead weight in my hand, heavy with the echoes of Luca's broken voice. His words replay in my mind, a endless loop of pain and desperation.
"What if I want to be with you, no matter the cost?"
The cost. As if he has any idea what that truly means, the price we'd both have to pay for the sin of loving each other. He thinks he knows, thinks he understands the darkness that stains my soul, the blood that will never wash from my hands.
But he doesn't. He can't. Because to truly comprehend the depths of my depravity, the extent of my sins...it would break him. Shatter that pure, shining light that draws me like a moth to a flame.
I can't let that happen. Can't let my poison seep into his veins, corrupting him from the inside out. I have to let him go, have to push him away before it's too late.
Even if it means carving out my own heart, leaving it bleeding and raw in the dust at his feet. Even if it means facing the yawning abyss of a life without him, cold and empty and endlessly alone.
I close my eyes, my jaw clenching against the scream that wants to tear itself from my throat. It hurts, a physical ache that radiates through every cell of my being. The thought of never seeing his smile again, never holding him in my arms, never losing myself in the gentle fire of his touch...
It's unbearable. A searing, unrelenting agony that makes me want to howl at the uncaring sky until my voice gives out and my lungs collapse.
But I don't. I can't. Because I'm Enzo fucking Vitale, and I don't break. I don't bend, I don't yield. I endure, I survive. No matter the cost, no matter the pain.
