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“Wait,” I say, my hand reaching out to take hers, but she moves away.
“Lila, please, just listen to me,” I say, looking at her with a mix of regret and desperation. As much as I want to blame this on literally anything else, maybe my father haunting me or some cure, anything, I know these are the consequences of my actions.
She hesitates, then leans down to talk to me. “Listen to what? That you forgot about your night together with her because she wasn’t ‘memorable’?” Her voice is quiet, but there's a hurt in her eyes that cuts through me like a hot knife through room-temperature butter spread.
“I know it sounds bad, but it's not like that,” I say, trying to find the words to explain myself.
“Then what is it like?” Her eyebrows lift as she focuses on me.
I feel foolish. “I’m a dick. But I do care about you, a lot. And I want to make things right.”
I sense her softening as she looks past me at her home. Then she sighs and jerks her head as if telling me to come with her.
“You can't erase or undo what happened.” The hurt in her voice is palpable.
“I know,” I say, standing up and closing my car door as she walks around the front toward me. “But can we try to move forward together?”
“I don’t know. But I’ll try.” She looks at me, her gaze searching mine as if looking for any hint of insincerity.
“That’s all I’m asking, and I know it’s more than I deserve,” I say as we make our way to the sidewalk up toward her front door.
She nods slowly, and I take that as an invitation to close the distance between us. My lips meet hers in a sweet kiss, and I think about how close I keep coming to losing her. All the doubts and fears I had before disappear in the heat of the moment. We stumble back, still locked in each other’s embrace, until we’re pressed against the side of my car.
“We have to stop,” she murmurs. “The neighbors will talk.”
I don’t give a damn what anyone says, but I respect that she does. With my hands steadying her, I pull away.
She smiles, adjusting her hair with a trembling hand before moving toward her home. I follow her, ready to face whatever comes our way.
I can feel the tension radiating off of her as she takes the lead, walking in front of me. She's worried about all of the things, and I don’t blame her. I really messed things up for both of us. Even the things that should be making life easier seem to only complicate matters further.
“Hey, Mom! Hey, Alex!” Lila calls out cheerfully as she takes another step.
“Lila!” Alex pulls her into a hug, looking at me over her shoulder. He gives me a questioning look and I nod my head. He breaks into a smile and sighs before putting his hands on Lila’s shoulders. “Congratulations,” he says softly. “Mom doesn't know.”
Lila glances at me over her shoulder and I’m quick to speak up. “Remember, it was Alex’s idea to let you read so I didn’t violate the talking clause.”
“Fredrick,” Grace says, moving our direction with slow, careful steps.
“You’re doing better,” I say as she wraps me in a hug.
She nods with a smile. “Thank you for making sure Lila got home safe,” she says.
“Of course,” I say. “That’s part of my job, isn’t it?”
She winks at me. “You and I both know you’d do it regardless.”
“You got me,” I say.
Grace turns her attention back to Lila. “How was your time away, dear?”
“Fine,” Lila says softly, avoiding eye contact with anyone in the room as her cheeks go red and give away just how much fun she had.
“Good, good,” Grace says.
Lila and her family deserve better than me. I know it. I need to work hard to not make the same mistakes over and over again.
I take a deep breath and try to clear my head as they all move into the living room. All I can think about is Lila’s soft skin and the way her body felt pressed against mine.
