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Ciara nods, but I can see in her eyes that she’s not completely content.
“You don’t feel that way?” Serenity asks softly.
Ciara shrugs. “Don’t get me wrong, I love Danny and Mercy, and I adore Spike ... it’s just, sometimes I feel like something is missing. My entire life was always focused on Cheyenne and Spike and the drama. I wanted to go to college, I wanted to do something with myself, but I never did.”
“It’s not too late, you know,” Janine encourages. “You’re so young, why don’t you enroll and do something.”
Ciara hesitates. “I just don’t see Spike agreeing, and even if he did, I’d feel so guilty leaving the kids, even if it was just a few days a week.”
“Honey,” I say, refilling her glass of wine. “You have all of us, your kids are never going to feel the pinch of being alone. Your life matters, too.”
Shaking her head, she changes the subject. “Anyway, we’re not here to throw a pity party for me. We’re here to have a good hard bitch about our men because we’re allowed. So, Janine, it’s your turn. How are things between you and Muff?”
Janine laughs, giving Mercy a bottle as she leans back in the chair. “Surprisingly good. He’s been amazing since we sorted everything out. I’m still up and down, but mostly, I’m dealing with it. Occasionally it gets the better of me, but I just put it down to pregnancy hormones.”
“Ugh.” Serenity shakes her head. “Those are the worst.”
“They really are,” I agree.
“What about you, Addi?” Ciara asks. “Anymore sneaky truths come out about Clara? You know we’re invested.”
I tell them everything new I’ve found out since the last time we spoke, and they listen with deep focus.
“Wait, so you’re saying there is some kind of stash location in the woods and you haven’t gone hunting for it? Do I even know you?” Ciara grins, teasingly.
“Trust me, if I knew where to look, I’d probably be unable to help myself. I think it’s a good thing I don’t know, it’s keeping me out of trouble.”
“If we could get the club on board, you could find out.” Serenity purses her lips, then grins.
“Not the club,” I correct. “Cade. He’s the one holding back. Though Jackson did say he is more invested than I think, so maybe there is a chance.”
“I’d suggest sneaking in to find out what we can, but that didn’t end well last time.” Ciara giggles.
“No, it really didn’t,” I laugh.
Gosh, I don’t know where my life would be without these girls.
They’re what keep me together.
14
Cade
“I want to find him.”
Jackson stares at me, his face hard but curious. “You think that’s a good idea?”
“Addison is right, I can’t fuckin’ let this go, Jacks. I need to know what happened to her. I let her get tangled up in this mess because I was young, stupid and sick of tryin’ to fix everyone’s lives. If he knows where she is, I need to know, too.”
“You sure you’re ready for that answer?” Muff asks, taking a sip of beer while bouncing Max on his lap.
“Not sure I’ll ever be fuckin’ ready,” I mutter. “But I’m goin’ to find him.”
“You think he’s still in the area?” Spike asks, lighting a cigarette and putting his boot up on the table. “He could be fuckin’ anywhere by now.”
“He was runnin’ a good business in these parts, but he might have moved on. Figure we would have heard his name again if he was still around here. All the movin’ of product we’ve done, his name hasn’t come up. Might be a new man in charge.”
“Could be, or maybe we’re just not dealin’ with them. Not like there are a short supply of fuckers doin’ illegal shit,” Jackson mutters. “If he’s around still, we’ll find him.”
