Page 56 of Protecting Nikole


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Finally, he pushed up off the couch. “It’s getting late. I’m going to get some sleep.”

He stood up and walked off, leaving me staring after him.

16

Jake

There was something seriously wrong with me. I just walked out on a woman who was asking for reassurance. And I just left her there, out in the cold, again.

How was it that I was willing to put my life on the line to save her, but I couldn’t give up my pride and tell her the truth?

The truth was that I didn’t know how to be in a successful relationship.

She wasn’t the only one who couldn’t read people. I decided on a plan and stuck with it, regardless of whether it met someone else’s expectations of me or not. While it served me well in my career, it torched my personal life. My father wanted me to be a football star, but I never cared for the attention, preferring to train alone in the weight room instead. Janine wanted a man who would be the life of the party, forget about the bills, and take off for three weeks. But that wasn’t me. When I wasn’t working, I enjoyed silence or a great view of the ocean. If I was lucky, I got both. I’d never expected anything from anyone, nor did I want anything more than what I had. I was content. I had been this way for as long as I could remember, and I hadn’t been able to change for anyone. But would I change for her if she asked me to?

I wasn’t sure. But I would never find out in here.

I had to go talk to her; apologize, at the very least.

I opened my door and marched back into the living room, but when I turned the corner, I discovered the room was empty. She was gone.

My heart leaped out of my chest.

Did she leave? Did I drive her away, too?

My gaze fell to her coat on the rack and her boots at the door and I exhaled, nearly bending over in relief. I still had a chance to fix this. I walked down the hallway again and stood in front of her door.

I dropped my head, and it made a small thud. What was I going to say? How did I explain that I didn’t know how to please people and I didn’t want to hurt her?

Just as I was gathering my thoughts, the door opened, and I stumbled into Nikole’s room.

She moved out of the way, and I knew I was heading for the ground. I could probably stop myself if I reached for her, or I would possibly bring her down with me. I didn’t want to risk it.

I landed on my shoulder on the carpeted floor, opened my eyes, and found myself lying at her feet. This was poetic justice, I was sure.

“Oh my gosh, are you all right?” Nikole dropped down to the floor and cupped my other shoulder. Her hand then moved to my cheek and she caressed it softly. I closed my eyes. My heart somersaulted at the empathetic gesture, and I nearly lost my composure.

“I’m fine,” I said, clearing my throat. I placed my hand on top of hers and gently took it off my face. Rising to my feet, I straightened my clothes while I picked up my pride from the floor.

“Why were you leaning against my door?” she asked.

Ah, we’d come to that already. And I still hadn’t thought of what to say.

“I wanted to apologize for earlier.”

She nodded and opened her mouth to speak, but I had to get this out before she excused my behavior. “It was rude and insulting. I wasn’t trying to ignore you. I—”

I rubbed my forehead again. “I have a habit of walking away when I don’t know how to fix things. So, I don’t really have an answer that will satisfy you. The reasons why I drove away that night have nothing to do with you. It’s all on me.”

She smirked. “Are you trying to say it’s you and not me? Is that it?”

I shook my head, frustrated. “I know it sounds cliché, but it’s true. There’s nothing wrong with you.”

She nodded. “I know,” she said softly, but she looked away. Her brow furrowed, and she crossed her arms.

She was upset. I was messing this up. “I’m serious.”

“You don’t have to say anything else. I don’t know what answer I was looking for, but thank you. Apology accepted.” She turned to walk away, but I stopped her.

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