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“Yeah…” I say, sounding hoarse.
The door slowly swings open, Nolan’s massive shoulders filling the entryway. There’s a deep wrinkle of concern between his eyebrows as he wordlessly marches toward me.
“Are they gone?” I whisper, my voice cracking around the words.
He nods lightly as he lowers onto the cushion beside me. “They’re gone,” he confirms.
His eyes scan me up and down, like he’s searching for bruises. But the damage I sustained tonight isn’t visible to the naked eye.
I feel like shit.
“How’d I do?” I try to sound strong and confident even as my eyes are quickly filling with tears.
Nolan doesn’t answer. Instead, he takes me into his arms, pulling me against his chest. I melt in his hold, instantly realizing how much I need a hug.
“I’m so fucking proud of you,” he whispers, his lips pressed against my forehead. The familiar woodsy fragrance of his shirt is especially comforting right now with the vulnerable state I’m in.
“Proud of me?” I whisper, burying my face against his strong chest. “After all the drama I’ve brought to your doorstep since I got back to town?”
Nolan gently pushes me backward to hold me at arm’s length. “You really don’t get it, do you?” He shakes his head. But he doesn’t elaborate.
“I don’t read minds, Nolan. And you aren’t exactly great at communication. If you want me to understand you, you’re going to have to actually talk to me.”
I don’t want to be rude and I don’t want to take my misery out on him. But I’m just so fucking tired. I’m tired of wanting things from him that I know he’s not capable of giving me.
Like usual, he shuts down on me the second I demand more of him, the second I try to deepen our connection.
Tonight, I’m too weak to act like I don’t care. I blink through the tears now streaming from my eyes. “Talk to me, Nolan. Please.”
He stares at me for a long moment, hesitating.
Then he surprises the shit out of me when he drops to his knees in front of me on the old carpet, taking my hands in his. “You’ve brought me happiness, Inez. You’ve brought me excitement. You’ve brought me something to look forward to everyday. I don’t mind the fucking drama. You’re worth it.”
“Nolan…” I whimper.
He takes my jaw in his palm as his fingertips swipe at my tears. And then the most unexpected words of affirmation pour out of his mouth. “You’re more than just beautiful, Inez. More than just some hot chick with a killer body. You’re kind and you’re smart and you’re funny. You light up a room simply by existing in it. You don’t even have to say a word.” His voice drops low. “You dazzle me. Every time I’m near you, you dazzle me. That’s why you’re my stargirl.”
“Oh my god…” I whisper softly.
This is a side of Nolan I’ve never seen before. If he goes on talking like this, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to keep it together.
It’s not like I’ve never been complimented before. But from this enigmatic man, it feels different. It feels genuine. It feels real.
It feels like nourishment for my starving soul. I want more of it. I want to eat it up, till no part of me is hungry anymore.
His hands fall to my bare knees, squeezing gently. The touch feels so intimate, so personal, so forbidden. He’s kneeled in front of me, watching me with his stormy eyes ablaze.
When Nolan is this close, the heat of his body overwhelms me. I don’t know how to hide the fact that I’m immediately turned on. The events of earlier this evening are long forgotten.
“I know that things are complicated, Inez. That’s why I’ve tried so hard to keep my distance. But I can’t keep my distance right now. Not when you’re falling apart like this.” He slightly spreads my knees apart, positioning himself right between my legs. His voice drops another octave or two. “I want to hold you tonight. I want to touch you and make you feel good. Just once. Say yes.”
“Yes,” I whimper quietly. “Touch me. Just once.”
He gently pulls my face closer and I lean toward him. He looks at me and there’s no hesitation in his eyes, no more holding back.
He’s decided what he wants tonight. Me.
My eyes flutter shut and then his lips cover mine.
