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He’s a mild-mannered old man who’s been here longer than I can remember. He was working here in the kitchen long before I took over the bar from my grandparents.
Joe doesn’t move as fast as he used to, but he knows his way around and fries up the best onion rings in the county.
The old man observes my expression, then he sighs. “It’s sure hard finding good employees these days, isn’t it?”
“Right.”
He flips a burger patty and then mindlessly points his spatula in my direction. “All they want to do is watch that damn reality show.”
“Right.”
“But who can blame them? Inez is a special girl. She’s got star power. She’s not an easy woman to forget.”
“Right.”
He has no idea how much I wish I could forget her. Replace her like I’ve replaced the dozens of employees who have come and gone over the years.
But Inez has always been here. She’s always been this stable part of my life. Someone I could count on.
And now, everywhere I look is a reminder that she’s gone.
I feel like a damn idiot, because I never realized how much I relied on her. How much her presence meant to me. How much I care about her wellbeing. I feel like I’m drowning.
With a rough exhale, I accept that this is my new reality, and I’ve got to make the best of it.
I duck into my back office, pull out my cellphone and call home to say good night to my baby girl.
My former mother-in-law answers the call in her usual cheerful voice. Like always, Genevieve immediately passes the phone to my six-year-old daughter, Stella.
I ask my little girl about her day and she talks my ear off, catching me up on all the hot schoolyard gossip.
Like always, she asks me to sing her a song. Like always, I complain that I have a terrible singing voice. But in the end, I cave. Because I’m a sucker for that kid and she knows it.
I sing her a few lines from In My Life by The Beatles, and she sings right along with me, filling my heart to the brim.
This is our bedtime routine every single night that I work. No matter how busy the bar is.
I wish I didn’t work nights at all. When Inez was here, we’d try to trade off a day here and there, to lighten the load for each other.
But now that she’s gone, I have no one I trust the way I trusted her. I know my inexperienced crew can’t handle the busy weekend crowds without me. So I’m back to working late three nights a week. On Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights, I’m here while Stella stays over at Genevieve’s place. Then I pick her up in the mornings.
It helps that Gen lives in a camper van that is currently parked in my front yard, just sixty-five feet from my porch.Is it weird that my ex-wife’s mother lives in my front yard? Yes. But it’s also incredibly convenient.
I need the help. Simple as that.
And as every single parent knows, sometimes convenience takes priority over luxuries like ‘personal boundaries’.
After chatting a few more minutes, I say goodnight to Stella and I hang up, hating that I have to be away from her right now.
Running this business isn’t easy. I’ve got no formal training in business management and an education that was lightyears away from business school. But I keep going, day after day, because this bar is what’s going to punch Stella’s meal ticket into a good college some day. This bar is going to open doors for my baby girl, so she can be whatever she wants to be. I’ll sacrifice anything to make sure Stella is set up for a great life.
Still sitting at my desk, I find myself scrolling through the contacts in my phone. My index finger hovers over Inez’s name.
Fuck.
I know she’s getting married tonight but every part of me is aching to just hit that ‘call’ button. Just to hear her voice. To make sure she’s okay.
Because she’s my friend.
