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Hearing that stings my heart. I hate to hear that the man I love is suffering. Especially because of me.
Karli: He’s been SUCH a stubborn, grumpy asshole lately.
Karli: Don’t tell him I said that, though.
Karli: Wait. On second thought, you can totally tell him I called him a stubborn, grumpy asshole.
I crack the smallest smile.
Me: Well, I’m pretty miserable without him too.
Me: But I’m trying so hard not to think about him. Because he’s just going to go back to his ex and they’re going to be a happy family.
Karli: Abso-fucking-lutely not. Not this time.
I sigh.
Me: I don’t like the idea of him with Lilian. But he probably thinks that’s what’s best for Stella.
The next message to pop onto my screen is so unexpected, it knocks the air out of my lungs.
Karli: Nolan is now filing to officially get sole legal custody of Stella. Once and for all.He has a family lawyer and everything.
Whaaaa–?! My gasp fills the tiny hotel room.
Me: Good for him.
I’m so happy for him. He’s a good man. He deserves peace of mind.
Karli: Yup. And good for you, too?
I feel a tingle in my chest.
Me: Good for me, how?
Daphne: With Lilian permanently out of the picture, you and Nolan will be able to figure out your life together.
Karli: Unless you’ve got any more excuses?
I flinch. Dang, Karli’s always calling me out on my shit. I’d much prefer my wallow-in-misery-while-pretending-nothing’s-wrong approach.But she doesn’t let me get away with my crap.
Me: Um. Not tonight…
I don’t have it in me to spew out any more excuses tonight.
Karli: Good.
I chat with the girls for a little bit longer before saying good night. I have another long day ahead of me tomorrow.
Putting my phone away, I curl up into a ball on my hotel bed, rehashing all the new information the girls spilled tonight.
Nolan’s got a lawyer to go up against his ex-wife? Seriously? That’s big for him. He deserves sole custody. He is Stella’s everything.
But it doesn’t change anything for him and me. I’m still here in New York, chasing after a career while Nolan lives his life in that quaint, magical Iowa mountain town.
I clutch tightly to my pillow, trying to keep the tears at bay and trying to not dream about a life with Nolan and Stella. But my mind keeps veering in the other direction, trying to map out a path forward, a plan for how we could possibly make this work.
What’s the point in busting my brain, though? The truth is, Nolan hasn’t reached out to me. He hasn’t even responded to my last message. He’s not even trying to stay friends anymore.
