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I feel bad for turning them down yet again. I’m fortunate that all my coworkers are really nice. Not so long ago, I craved female companionship and genuine friendships. Now, here I am, rejecting all their efforts to get to know me.
“Why the constant doom-and-gloom look, girl?” someone asks.
“Yeah! You should be thrilled, having a role in this awesome show. And the role of Charlotte at that? God, I’d kill for that spot.”
The actor who plays my love interest leans into me. “She totally would. Sleep with one eye open,” he stage-whispers with a wink.
I laugh. “Oh, I’m over the moon to be on this show. Promise. Cross my heart.” I make the gesture across my chest before admitting, “This was just all kind of sudden, and I’m feeling a little homesick.”
My castmates share a glance.
“Why do I have a feeling there’s a guy involved?” someone jokes.
I pull in a breath. “There is. I mean, there was. And I miss him so much. But…it’s over now. We ended it when I left to come on the show.”
They share glances again, but this time, they all look confused.
“Why did you end it?”
Feeling self-conscious about sharing my business with these strangers, I gnaw on my lip. “The distance. The time apart.”
“But you said you’re from Starlight Falls, right?” my on-screen sister asks, her forehead scrunched in concern.
“I am.” I nod.
“Well, we shoot most of the actual season right outside of Reyfield,” she informs me.
I blink at her stupidly.
Someone else chimes in. “Once all this pre-production stuff is done, we’ll be filming on the Wilkinson farm in Reyfield.That’s not too far from your hometown, right?”
“What? N-no,” I stammer.
We shoot most of the show less than two hours from my town? How did I not know that?The train passes right through Reyfield on its way to Starlight Falls.
Apparently I studied and memorized everything about the show, except for the important logistics.
“I…Wow. I did not know this bit of information.”
“And despite all that, just because you’re filming a TV show doesn’t mean you can’t have a happy relationship,” my character’s love interest speaks up. “My family lives all the way in freaking Arizona, and my husband and I still make it work.”
“Yeah, my boyfriend of five years lives in Kansas. Thank god for video calling and phone sex,” one of the supporting actresses says and everyone laughs.
I shake my head as if waking up from a haze. They’re right. Of course Nolan and I can make it work. Even despite the distance.
And now I have to admit the truth to myself. All this time, we’ve been making up excuses instead of just admitting to each other that we’re scared. Scared of making the commitment, scared of putting in the work, scared of really, truly laying our hearts on the line.
Jeez-sus. All of a sudden, my brain is in overload. I have so much to process.
“You guys are so right. Thank you for talking some sense into me.” I laugh embarrassedly as the truth continues to sink in.
“So does that mean you’ll come out with us?” one of the other actors asks hopefully.
I chuckle some more. “You guys go on without me tonight. I’m dead on my feet. And I have a lot to think about.” I know I need to join in on more of the cast bonding activities, but I already spent nearly fifteen hours with them today. I’m all bonded out.
I hear a few defeated sighs rise up in the crowd.
“Okay, we’re letting you off the hook tonight. But next time, we’re dragging you into the nightclub by your ponytail if we have to.” My on-screen sister bumps her shoulder into mine, grinning even though her threat sounds very, very real.
