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“Hey, big guy. You look like you could use some comforting,” she says in a voice that goes straight to my groin.
I nod, my mouth already watering. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I could. What do you have in mind?”
She smiles as she comes inside and closes the door behind her. She climbs onto the bed, crawling toward me. Without a word, she reaches for the front of my shirt, kissing me as she unbuttons it slowly.
I grab at her waist but she slithers away, positioning herself behind my back. Before I can ask what she’s doing, she slips the shirt from my shoulders and reaches for her body lotion that’s been sitting on my nightstand.
When she knocks over one of her perfume bottles, she laughs softly. “Oh, man. I’ve really taken over your poor little table with all my girlie stuff, haven’t I?”
I glance over at the small army of makeup and hair clips and body creams. “And I love it,” I tell her. “I love that your toothbrush is sitting on my bathroom sink, in the cup where I keep my own. I love that your bath sponge is hanging from my shower knob. I love that you’re taking up more and more space in my life, Inez.”
“You do?” she asks, sounding uncertain.
My head bobs slightly as I grab her hand, placing a kiss on her knuckles. “Because before you came here, a part of me was empty.” And I don’t want to go back to living that way again.
But when she leaves, I won’t really have a choice in the matter, will I?
She begins to rub my shoulders and my biceps and the muscles of my back. Instantly, I feel myself unwinding under her touch. She’s lost in her thoughts, silent for a long time.
“I’m sorry, Nolan,” she says quietly. “I’m sorry Stella got hurt on my watch. Are you mad at me? You can say it.”
I snatch her wandering hand and place a kiss on her knuckles. “None of it was your fault, babe.”
I don’t blame Inez. Not one bit. Even though I haven’t been able to convince her to stop apologizing.
“I blame myself for everything that happened. Stella could have been seriously injured. Hell, you could have been, too. That would have been my fault. I failed as a father, as a protector today.” Guilt wraps itself around my throat.
What was I thinking, turning my back on them, leaving them alone in the woods? In a foreign place they’re not familiar with?
Stella’s a free spirit—so much like her mother—and I know how easily she gets distracted. How quickly she can run off. How things can go south in the blink of an eye.
Inez places kisses behind my ear, moving down the side of my neck as she continues to massage my body. “You’re an excellent father, Nolan. The best a little girl could ask for. I hear you singing The Beatles songs to Stella every night. And you buy that super expensive extra mild detergent because her skin is sensitive to strong chemicals. And even when you give her fast food for dinner, you always make sure to throw in some broccoli on the side. You are an excellent father.”
Catching hold of her wrist, I pull her into my lap. She looks at me with adoring eyes as she absentmindedly plays with the friendship bracelet on my wrist. I haven’t taken mine off. Neither have she or Stella. It might seem silly to an outsider but these multicolor bracelets feel like a link that’s holding the three of us together. Connecting us.
I stare at Inez’s sweet face. God—I freaking love this woman. And I know that Stella does, too. She feels like the puzzle piece our family has been missing all along.
Stella. Inez. Me. A family. That’s what it’s starting to feel like.
“Thank you for jumping into that water to save my daughter.” I choke on the words as my emotions strangle my windpipe.
“Of course.” She swallows. “I didn’t even have to think about it. I love that little girl, Nolan. I love her so much.”
My chest hurts like someone just hacked it wide open with an axe. “You really are the best woman I know, Inez Machado. I’m so lucky to be with you.”
And yet, I know I’m going to lose her. Soon, Inez is going to be leaving. Her dreams are in the big city, and my whole world is here in Starlight Falls. We don’t need to talk about that. We both know what’s coming.
She’s going to leave town and become a movie star. And then the only time I’ll see her will be on my TV screen. Am I strong enough to handle that?
Part of me wants to ask her to stay. To stay for me. To stay for Stella. But I could never do that. I could never come in the way of Inez’s acting dreams. Even if for some crazy reason she did stay here in Starlight Falls, she’d end up resenting us. And that sounds even worse than me ending up sad and lonely.
But for now, she’s here with me. For now, she’s mine.
So I kiss her and I fuck her and I hold nothing back.
41
NOLAN
