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“Stel—!” I don’t even finish calling her name before she slips and falls over the edge.
I let out a blood-curdling scream, sprinting after her and plunging right in. The basin’s icy water engulfs me before I pop up above the surface and grab Stella, saving her from going under.
From behind me, I hear Nolan yelling as he runs and jumps into the water, too. Just seconds later, he’s got us, scooping us both into his strong, safe arms.
One minute feels like a whole hour as we half-swim, half-trudge through the freezing water, making it back to the edge. We help Stella climb out first. Nolan boosts me up next before pulling himself out. Eventually, we all make it over to the blanket.
Wet, traumatized and shivering, we do our best to wrap ourselves up together in the blanket. It might be a sunny spring day, but down here under the canopy shade, there’s a biting chill, especially through our soaked clothes.
“I’m s-so sorry,” I say for the billionth time, my own teeth chattering. “I should have kept Stella closer to me when you were gone. I sh-sh…”
Nolan’s heavy arm comes around me, pulling me into his body, while he’s also holding onto Stella. Her little body is shaking so hard as she whimpers.
He presses his lips to my temple. “Shush,” he whispers softly. “We’re okay. We’re all okay.”
His warmth simmers through me, the kind of warmth that chases away the cold. I breathe a heavy sigh, leaning into Nolan and holding onto Stella and finally letting myself relax.
And it occurs to me how very much I love these two people. I’d put myself in harm’s way to save either one of them.
That’s when another realization hits me. The folktale is right! I’m drenched in love.
I love little Stella to pieces. And I’m head over heels in love with her dad.
40
NOLAN
For the rest of the day, I’m super attentive to Stella.
Once we make it back home from the waterfall, I do nothing else but make sure that my daughter is nice and warm, that she’s well-fed with healthy snacks, that she’s fully hydrated, that she’s not running a fever. And on and on and on. I try not to be a Debbie Downer all evening, but I feel so crumby over what happened.
A shudder runs through me each time I think of how badly things could have ended.
This evening, Inez is being a sweetheart as always, taking care of dinner so I have all the time in the world to fuss over my little girl. As she works on our spinach mac and cheese with chicken nuggets on the side, I notice her muttering to herself. I catch a few of her mumbled words and I realize that she’s reciting her lines from the audition script.
My lips quirk up for the first time all evening, and I stroll into the kitchen with Stella on my hip, saying the next line right on queue. Inez’s head snaps up in surprise but I stay in character, reciting my next line as I make my way closer to her.
I’m inches away when she stares up at me, whispering her next line. I can’t tell if she’s being one hell of an actress, or if she’s simply turned on by the sight of me. I’m hoping it’s both.
“Oh! It’s the kissing part!” Stella exclaims, suddenly coming alive with excitement after being cranky and melancholic all afternoon. “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” She pumps her arms in the air.
I lean in, brushing a stray lock of caramel hair away from Inez’s mouth. Then I press my lips to hers, giving her a brief, G-rated kiss. Despite its simplicity, it feels so nice. It’s too dang easy to get used to being at home, surrounded by my favorite girls like this.
But in the back of my mind, the negative thoughts creep in, unsolicited.It’s irresponsible of me to be standing in my kitchen, kissing this woman in front of my daughter, all while knowing that Inez will be leaving soon. Stella has already been abandoned by her mother. She wouldn’t survive being left behind by Inez, too.
Because I know I wouldn’t.
So that’s why I keep a careful distance from Inez for the rest of the evening.
At the end of the night, I take extra long tucking my daughter in and singing her favorite song.And when she asks me to read a second bedtime story, I don’t hesitate. I pick out her newest insect book and dive right in. Heck, I’m ready to throw in a third book for good measure but Stella’s already conked out and asleep in her bed.
I stare at her for a long time after that, just watching her sleep. Watching her breathe.My princess. I’m so grateful for her.
I screwed up today, and now I've got to earn back that Number One Dad trophy that’s sitting on my night stand. I don’t feel very deserving of that Christmas gift right now.
After making it back to my room, there’s a knock on my open door. I look up to see Inez, standing there in another one of my T-shirts. When she raises her arm to lean on the door frame, I realize she’s not wearing any shorts with it this time.
I fight back a grin.
