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“You guys are the worst.” They tighten the hug.
Chapter 30
Millie
Ihaven’t stopped crying since last night. Mark stayed until around midnight before he went home to get some sleep. At least one of us will be rested, because I certainly didn’t get any sleep. Around two, I told my roommates I was going to head to bed. I knew it was pointless, but they were all falling asleep, and I knew they wouldn’t go to bed until I did.
There’s a soft knock on my door before Tori pokes her head in. “Hey, how are you holding up?”
I wipe my cheek and shrug. Tori closes the door behind her and climbs into the bed next to me. “Talk to me. What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“I was just remembering that Christmas when Denham came.”
“Eww. Why are you thinking of that jerkwad?”
I give a halfhearted chuckle. “I wasn’t really thinking about him. More… Do you remember brunch? How you and Jonathan knew what I needed to hear?”
“I mean, I remember talking to you, but I don’t remember anything specific.”
“Do you think I’ve become too complacent?”
“What do you mean?”
“That somewhere along the way, I started letting you and Jonathan make all the decisions?”
“You make decisions.”
“Yeah, but I always give in if there’s something either of you want more.”
Tori sits up. “Example?”
“Our Saturday morning runs.” I sit up and face Tori. “Tor, I hate running. Despise it. It’s the worst. It’s not exercise, it’s torture.”
Tori laughs and pulls me into a hug. “You don’t have to run anymore.” She gives my shoulders a squeeze then her face grows serious. “And I’m sorry you ever felt like your opinion didn’t matter. That’s the furthest from the truth.”
I slump back down onto my pillow. “It’s not your fault I let it happen. I don’t know how or when, but I let it happen. Somehow, I lost all confidence and stopped fighting to be heard.”
“Well, I’m listening now.” Tori sinks back down next to me. “So how are we going to get Jonathan to listen to you too? Because I know I haven’t sounded the most supportive, but I really do think you and Mark are good together.”
’Really?”
“Mills, I know I can be a bit harsh at times, but even I can admit you’ve been more yourself since you’ve been spending more time with Mark. He brings out the best in you. And, it was pretty cool of him for sticking by you last night.”
I sink further into my bed, then turn to face Tori. “Thanks, Tor.”
It’s Friday afternoon, and there’s only one place Jonathan will be. I head over to the high school and wait in the hallway until the bell rings. I recognize a few of the students as they filter out of the choir room. A few wave and say hi. The line of students thins, and I take a breath and steel myself with as much courage as I can before walking into the door.
Jonathan is standing by the piano looking over the sheet music with the class accompanist. He’s all smiles and completely relaxed until he looks up and sees me. He looks away and says a final note to the accompanist then walks over towards his chair and gathers his things. I guess it’s going to be completely up to me.
Tori and I practiced and roll-played multiple scenarios, but this is real life and no amount of practice has me ready to actually say everything I need to say.
“The choir is sounding really good.” Jonathan doesn’t look up. There’s a slight pause and then he goes right back to putting his things in his bag. “I listened through the door while I was waiting.”
“They’ve been working hard.”
A slight twinge of relief. He still isn’t looking at me, but at least he’s talking to me now. “It shows.”
“Millie, what’s this about?” He pulls the strap of his bag over his head as he stands to his full height finally turning to face me. “I know you didn’t come down here to talk about how the choir sounds. What do you want?”
