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“And why do you think that was?” Leonid asks, not denying it.
“Because I’m not your type.”
The words come out before I even have a chance to think them away. Instantly, it feels like the air has been sucked out of the room.
That was the wrong thing to say. Those words were far too vulnerable. They came from the deepest part of me; a part of me that no one should ever see. They were said by the fragile little girl who used to read fairy tales all day long.
My gaze immediately drops in shame. I’m even more embarrassed by what I just said than I am of the choker or the bra or even of my arousal.
For what seems like an eternity, nothing moves. Then, I feel Leonid approach me again. Without saying a word, he bends down into a squat.
When I feel his hand on my foot, I can’t help but look up again, at him.
At first, all I can see is that golden hair. It’s shimmering directly in front of my eyes as he looks down at my legs.
“What are you doing?” I whisper, confused. Then I feel him slip the panties up my ankles. “Why are you putting those on?
“Because I didn’t like your answer,” Leonid says. I don’t resist as he tenderly works the black lingerie up my calves, over my thighs and towards my hips. When the thin middle strap brushes in between my soaking pussy lips, Leonid pauses, as if he’s trying to control himself.
His thick fingers stay frozen beneath the straps hugging my waist, before finally, he manages to pull away.
Standing half-way up, so that his face is directly in front of mine, he gazes deep into my eyes. The crystal blue in his gaze makes me shiver. It’s a warm shiver, though. Warm like his shadow. Warm like his mouth…
“You are exactly my type, Sophia Xiphias,” Leonid whispers. “That’s the fucking problem.”
Something in my stomach flutters. But that’s nothing compared to what happens when Leonid leans forward and kisses me.
The stale heavy air is immediately electrified.
His lips press against mine, cautiously at first, but when I don’t pull away, he pushes harder.
My whole body is plunged beneath an unseen ocean of pure warmth. The bed beneath me disappears. I’m floating. Held up only by the lips of the monster stealing my first kiss.
No. Not stealing.
Giving.
He’s giving me this moment.
If he’s stealing anything, it’s my pain. My fear. My sadness.
And as he kisses me harder, a fire rises up in my fluttering belly. Suddenly, I only want one thing. To give back. To fight with my captor, and not against him.
But I only get one gentle moment, one tender movement of my lips before Leonid Barinov pulls away.
When his lips leave mine, the electric air suddenly becomes heavy again. I drop my head, trying to steady myself. But my chest is heaving. My whole body is clenched. The tension is suffocating.
My entire world has just been turned upside down.
“… I’m a monster.”
Leonid’s words are just as heavy as the air, and they drop down on me like a sledgehammer.
But then something funny happens. A lightness takes over the space around my head. Even with my body melting, I manage to look up and back at him.
“Welcome to the club,” I say.
We’re all monsters here. If only he knew about what I’ve done. About how I chose his brother to be my family’s slave; about what happened to the boys I didn’t choose.
