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I knew coming here was a bad idea, but I guess I just want to be more involved in River’s world.
I want it to be our world.
But shit, maybe I don’t want to be part of his world at all.
Chapter Six
River
“Fucking hell,” I mutter to myself, covering my face with my hands. I shouldn’t have yelled at her like that, but when I saw the blood on me, I just panicked. She shouldn’t have someone with literal blood on their hands touching her soft, perfect skin.
Just minutes before she walked into the garage, I was getting information out of our hostage. When I saw her, I thought I was dreaming for a moment.
My two worlds don’t need to collide, because one is heaven and one is hell.
Fucking hell.
After taking thirty minutes to calm myself down, I find Jeremiah sitting at the dining table. “I saw her run out.”
“You shouldn’t have let her come down there in the first place,” I snap, angry that he let that happen. “What were you thinking? I should beat the shit out of you.”
He puts his hands up. “She was here with me one second and gone the next. I’m sorry. And I wasn’t even sure if you were still down there.”
Clenching my teeth, I eye the food she brought over for me, the food Jeremiah has clearly helped himself to, which just annoys me further. I wash my hands properly and then serve a plate, sitting at the table alone; Jeremiah’s smart enough to hightail it out of here.
I fucked up, and I know I did. I probably scared her, and that’s the one thing I never wanted to do. I pull out my phone from my jeans pocket and send her a text.
River: I’m sorry. Can I come see you tonight? And the food is delicious, by the way, thank you.
My eyes are on my phone as I finish the meal, waiting for her to reply. I feel like shit eating the food, knowing she thought of me and brought it here, and I acted like a psychopath. I suppose I wasn’t expecting to see her, and I wasn’t in the headspace to do so.
I was in the headspace for motherfucking torture and breaking that man to get what I need from him. And being so close, I was focused and very intent on that and that only.
Does she now realize how fucked-up I am?
Maybe she’s reconsidering wanting to be with me.
I guess I would understand, but it would be hard as fuck to let her go. I don’t know if I could. I know she’s the woman I want to be with, above all others, and I would never find anyone else that I would feel that way about.
She’s irreplaceable.
Priceless.
And I need her to be patient with me.
She finally replies, putting me out of my misery.
Bella: Okay, I’ll see you then.
Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath.
The sad truth is I don’t think any woman could love the real me.
So Bella is never going to know that side of me.
Ever.
I show up with flowers and what I hope is an apologetic smile.
